Divinity/Prologue

"Ranma Saotome?" the ghastly voice rang out from above him.

Ranma opened his eyes. What he saw defied laws of physics, but he shrugged. What else was new?

The source of the voice was equally as ghastly. A tall man, hovering in the air above his bed, with a third eye placed in between his two other eyes. His hair fluttered about in the wind, although there was none, and assumed several shapes. Including that of a lion.

"And you are?" He deadpanned.

The man smiled. "I am Aizen Myoo."

Ranma looked at him skeptically. "And that's supposed to mean what?"

The man shook his head sadly.

"Most know me as the God of Love."

"Oh. Like Cupid?"

"No you idiot, that slacker is Roman!" He scolded.

Ranma frowned. "Look. I've got better things to do than be insulted by weird looking deities while I'm trying to sleep."

"Wait. I am here to pass judgment upon you!"

"For what?"

"The young maiden Akane. You love her, do you not?"

"That sexless tomboy? HA!"

Aizen Myoo frowned. "Young Saotome. Here and now I pass judgment upon you."

"On what charge?"

"I'M A GOD! I DON'T NEED TO CHARGE YOU IN ORDER TO PASS JUDGEMENT!"

"Hey, looks like somebody needs to read a law book!"

"I will not argue with a mortal. I was going to take it easy on you, but now I shall pass judgment."

Ranma looked skeptical.

"Ranma Saotome. I... um..."

Ranma couldn't help but laugh. "Some God. You're trying to pass judgment on me for who knows what, and you can't even think of what to do!"

"I've been out of the circle for a while, all right? Give me a break. Besides. All the good stuff has been done before."

"So you're just going to hover over me all night and go 'um'?"

"No! I'll... I'll think of something... um... Oh wait!... no, that's been done to death..."

Ranma started to snicker.

"I've got it!" He smacked his fist into his palm, and pointed his finger at Ranma. "Ranma Saotome. I give you the task of matchmaker!"

"Matchmaker? For who?"

"Two people whom you know quite well." He smiled.

"Who? Shampoo and Mousse?"

"No, they're not under my jurisdiction."

Ranma narrowed his eyes. "You can't mean..." he began.

Aizen Myoo smiled and nodded.

"Ryouga and Ukyou?!"

Aizen Myoo face-vaulted. After he recovered, he looked toward Ranma in a bitter rage.

"NO YOU IDIOT!" he shouted. "You and Akane!"

Ranma scoffed. "Now how am I going to play matchmaker for myself?"

Aizen Myoo shook his head. "Continue to sleep, young Saotome. You'll find out in the morning."

"Speaking of sleep, when is this crazy dream gonna end?"

Aizen Myoo shook his head. "I'll check up on you in a week." He snapped his fingers and promptly disappeared.

Ranma did the best shrug he could do while lying down and rolled over, finding a more comfortable position and dozed back to sleep.