Looking at the Blue Dog, in the Eyes

The Dream Within a Dream
Now, this is cool...

And, at the same time, it is the most freaking scary thought I've ever had... or, at least, that I can remember...

What if?

What if your dreams, that wonderful magic realm where you are supposed to be free, where you can fly, where you can do anything you want... what if your dreams were controlled... also controlled, just like you are being controlled in your “real” life...

This story happens in my memories... it is narrated in first person, who could it possibly be otherwise? If there was to be some dialogue, it would be recreated from my memories, only...

Something different happened, this time...

We received help, from the inside... after all, they are human also, just like me... I mean my trainer, the guy who was assigned to care for me... it is a system of slaves who take care of other slaves, no one can see much beyond, but there's the system... and there's the feeling, a warm feeling of liquid consciousness, which was not ugly at all...

Yes, today... or better said: tonight, something happened... there was this word, a keyword... it slipped... or better said, it was there for a purpose... my trainer is helping me remember... he wanted me to recall... I remember, when I reacted, he said: “I can see you did your homework”... so, was he expecting my reaction? I remember also, how we both rapidly hid my reaction... only them I could see them... the others, the guards... they looked less human, although they had our same human looks... it was the brightness of their souls, the sparkle in the eye... they were darker...

The keyword
I start remembering, as we were brought into the room, a small alley, a staircase... there were some young kids sleeping in the stairs... somehow, this appeared to be normal...

We were being received here, after our former graduation...

What a prize, for being accepted... it's like a pig, when it finally becomes accepted to be part of Xmas dinner... as dinner!!

Yeah, there was this liquid, this smell... very strong, like strong alcohol, I brought it to my nose myself, I knew I was stronger, it wouldn't put me to sleep, like those kids who were being seemingly unattended in the stairs... somehow, it was a requisite to go on, to go deeper, to go further, up the stairs... into the second floor...

My consciousness was already more slippery, more liquid, more “warm”... there on the second floor (later I could see on a window, yes, it was just a second floor, this one wasn't higher)...

Look at the letter in the wall... said my “friend”, my “tutor”... I can not fully recall him now, but I remember the feeling, how I was confident, how there was something going on between us... no need for a twinkle in the eye, not just yet...

I saw the wall, there was gibberish, nothing readable... except for maybe one letter... that was all they were asking for... yeah, I saw it, it was a “c”... no, wait, it was an “s”... next step, not a compliment, not a word saying “well done”... next one, what can you read here? The glyphs were changing in the wall... why didn't I realize, immediately, that I was living a dream? Only in a dream, I presume, would some sort of graffiti start changing and developing before your eyes...

Yeah, I can see some more... spelled a few letters...

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm">Then, fast, just for a glimpse, just for a brief moment... the letters showed a word: it said “MK-ULTRA”... Oh, was I scared then! My agitation was obvious, the word rapidly disappeared...

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm">I looked at my tutor in the eye, and said: “Please, can I leave?”... he wasn't surprised, he then said the only words I recall: “I see you've been doing your homework”...

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm">Then, the guards became visible... I could feel their nagging sight within my soul, their stabbing looks passing through me... I knew I should behave... moving towards the best of all possibilities... for the sake of us both, me and my tutor...

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm">Some more “acid” (how can you possibly take acid, within a dream?)... this time it was pretty strong... I was put to sit in front of a 3D screen, “look at the reptiles”, the voice said... the figures were moving vividly in the screen, it was quite pedagogic, e-learning, informative, for this part, I can't complain...

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm">I looked out the window... some delivery guys, about three of them, they had uniforms... there was a truck, and a street outside...

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm">MK-Ultra... what was the purpose of this word in the wall? I understand now... it was just a reference to something I could understand, a key to open my eyes, that I could somehow digest what was going on, leaving some awareness... so that I would remember...

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm">Obviously, in my present understanding, this stage can have no relation to some dirty old project in the C.I.A., this is deeper, stronger, this happens within our dreams, and afterwards, we can't remember it!!!

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm">But, knowing something about the concept of MK-Ultra, it would help me to relate... what was going on within my dream, how strongly we were being directed, trained, for some purpose?

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm">Then, I realized, I would have MY purpose... to overcome, to escape, to fly away... start immediately, by doing nothing... calm down your feelings, go with the flow, they mustn't realize how much you know, everything would be lost otherwise...

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm">Observe... and remember, write it down, when you can !!!

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm">I felt the strong waves... I was still sitting in front of the reptiles, staring at them on the 3D Screen... my legs were crossed in a lotus position, then a young man who had been beside me, started moving very beautifully, like a dance, showing a mastery in the martial arts... throwing his feet into the air, serving blows into... nothing, into the empty air... except that he was pointing and concentrating into a large screen, on the other side there was some guy with a guitar, and he was reacting to the blows... the guy with the guitar became angry... “can't you see you are hurting me?” my classmate kept on moving, showing his great mastery of the martial arts... “the guy on the screen can't control his feelings”, I thought... the idea crossed my mind... maybe that's the clue to remain unaffected, don't let them get into your nerves... the waves had been strong, they had awaken my from my trance in from of my 3D Screen, and now, further on, they even awoke me completely... I started hearing the sounds of the “real world”... birds singing, it was still dark... it is going to be the sunrise, of a very beautiful day indeed.

Graduation
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm">This happened before, just before we were brought to the hall in the second floor, up the stairway...

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm">Then, we were in a large hall, different groups, like different classes, we were listening to a speech... wait, no... first, before that, I was being given input about my speech, I can't remember giving it, but I remember how the “teacher” called me by my name, although I can't remember if it was my same name, as in our “awakened state” of “real life”... he was addressing to me, but he spoke in third person... he was talking also to the rest of the class. He said, “his speech was good, except when he fell off the stage”... no one reacted, like if this had been very strange... apparently in this scenario, it is normal if the person giving a speech all of a sudden falls of the stage... is it the drugs? was everyone here on psychedelic drugs, even though it was within our dreams?

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm">The, the next speech started... all I remember is that I sincerely thought it was pretty good, and at the end I started clapping my hands... this is normal, isn't it? It's what we usually do if we like something...

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm">But the teacher didn't like it... then I realized there were two teachers... one of them, his face seem of an Asian type, he explained to me, in a tone that was not cheerful, but wasn't a reprimand either, just like giving directions in a neutral tone... he said: “I have a problem with applause, because we don't have much time, and it takes away our time, and our concentration”... nothing more to say, I knew I wouldn't ever clap again, I shouldn't neither like nor dislike things, in this bizarre situation...

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