Diary of a Chilean Government Official

The Government Official

Dear Diary, I was appointed general of the infant Chilean military today. The sweat trickled down my face because I do not have finances to keep Chile’s independence in tact. My national treasury is empty, and the only way to get income is to raise taxes and to get money from our enemies. I will have to go as far as holding people ransom. I know this not the best way to do this but it is the most efficient. If we wait Joaquin de la Pezuela will defeat us before we defeat him. I need to keep a great amount of space between Spanish government officials. Every second Chile is vulnerable to a royalist attack if we do not keep them a clear distance from us. There is so much that is needed to be done; it makes me shutter just thinking about it. How am I going to create a navy without any money? All I know is that if I don’t Chile will fall.

I have finally collected all of the money I need and have started the creation of the navy. This will finally give us full control of the seas and this will create a boundary for Chile. My mission is to keep Chile safe and away from danger. Sincerely, O’Higgins Dear Diary, It kills me that I have been exiled, from my home country. I have to watch my country be overthrown by others of whom I don’t agree with. I never agreed with my junior officer. I never liked Freire; there was always something that we disagreed on. It would have been best if I just had him exiled. Then I would have just looked like a dictator. A political leader has to do what he has do. Well never mind that, I am in the present which means I have to deal with the present. A political leader needs to be aware that any small change can turn the whole public against you, which probably would have happened. My head is down in shame because I feel as though I should be honored not thrown away. My own comrades are even in upheaval, though some were happy for my leaving. If only they were in my shoes and could see what it takes a nation to stay strong. It makes me sick, that they can just dismiss me on the drop of a hat. If I were still the leader of Chile I know deep down that I could have made it prosper…but now I just have to watch it fall. I am absolutely in disbelief because I was the main reason for Chilean independence. Without me the Nation would have been overthrown by a royalist attacks and with out my army I would not have even been alive to write this diary entry. I remember it vividly, on February 12, 1818, our independence was formerly declared. The air was filled with happiness but yet I could feel the tension around me. People crying for the death of their loved ones and I had relief that our independence was finally won. We had come from the Andes Mountains of Argentina and defeated the loyalist army. Three days after the battle of Chacabuco, the blood stained our hearts but proud I was to secure the independence for Chile. The battle ended the Spanish control of northern Chile and led to the liberation of Santiago. One of my closest friends had perished. He died a proud man fighting for his country. Now I feel that I have killed him, blood put to waste. He was not the only one who died; many others had perished too. I just wish I died with them because clearly I did not do justice for the people of Chile. I was the only one that disserved to be put to death. I don’t look forward to going to sleep because I know that my men’s dead faces will haunt me and remind of what I have done. I wake up with nightmares as I hear the screams of the children that have no fathers. I toss and I turn every night thinking of what I have lost for my beloved Chile. The only thing that keeps alive is my wife and children. They are the only one that takes me away from my nightmares. I gave Chile, what I could give, but still the public was not happy with me. No one understood the potential of Chile. I had a vision, to turn the beautiful nation into a viable one and I did. I even designed an economic policy, but people became jealous of the foreign firms. I was so disgusted so I made them pay taxes. To many I seemed as a dictator, but I was trying to make an example out of them. Yes I may have made a mistake and I made up for it by rewriting the commercial law. After this reformation I realized that I needed to make it so people had the same rights…I eliminated the some exclusive, aristocratic abilities and raising the cultural level of the common people. No one seemed to look at my successfulness; I created a functioning government that had a national army and navy. I am know that what is not keeping me from going to hell is that I am an honest man and I did the best for our country. Now that I think of it I don’t think an honest man could ever be a leader and I am one. When you are a leader you have to be sneaky and aggregate so the people understand your views. Therefore I don’t think there will ever be a perfect leader just as there is no perfect person. I am not making excuses for myself, but I only did what I could do without lying or cheating the people. Sincerely, O’Higgins