Fortunately unfortunately

Fortunately unfortunately is a story game played by a group of players. The starting player gives any story sentence. The second player gives the second sentence, which must begin with the word "unfortunately" and describe an unfortunate event. The next player does the same but beginning with "fortunately" and describing a positive event. The Fortunately unfortunately lines then alternate until the story is complete.


 * Edit the "Fortunately unfortunately" Wikistory by adding the correct type of sentence (a negative or positive one, alternating each time).
 * Do not delete or change preceding portions.
 * Wait for at least one other person to add a sentence before taking your next go.

See Wikipedia for details of the game, and One-word-at-a-time for another story related game.

Archive

 * /Chandler Bang/
 * /WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!/

Spaceship
After having crossed the space for several years, the space ship Paradise Two from the exploration fleet finally had reached its destination, an as yet unexplored planet, and now the captain gave the command to initiate the landing sequence. Unfortunately, the captain couldn't initiate the sequence, since he spontaneously combusted. Fortunately, it turned out that the sequence was preprogrammed anyway, and was initiated automatically by the ship computer. Unfortunately the first officer was corrupt, so that by time the ship landed in two and a half minutes, anarchy had been evoked by a massive riot.

Karyinde
Fortunately, a charismatic young woman named Karyinde gained the loyalty of a bunch of the anarchists and went off to build an utopian society somewhere else in the planet. Unfortunately the people got sad living in the dark depths of planet, and the utopian society became ununited. Fortunately Karyinde ordered everyone to move out of the dark depths of the planet in a dispendious, unpractical and not very useful exodus, so that they stopped pestering her while she tried to make her utopian society work. Unfortunately, Karyinde's pet clam kept pestering her. Fortunately she didn't really like her pet clam, but she really liked clam chowder, so her clam didn't pester her for so long. Unfortunately, the clam had a pearl in it which she didn't notice in her excitement for clam chowder so that she got a serious stomach ache after eating it, and couldn't go to work for awhile. Fortunately, the planet was actually inhabited by very friendly intelligent beings, and a group of them just at that time explored the otherwise uninhabited part of the planet where the space ship had landed, and thus found and, being friendly beings, cured Karyinde. Unfortunately, these friendly alien beings wanted everyone else to obey their high moral values too, so they overthrew Karyinde's government and instituted an oppressive law system, that forced everyone to act friendly all the time, or die. Fortunately, Karyinde pointed out that killing people wasn't very friendly, and so the aliens were forced to kill themselves. Unfortunately the aliens were not very experienced in killing and therefore survived their suicide. Fortunately, Karyinde was glad to help them, and in a very friendly manner cut their heads off.

Biosphere
Unfortunately the aliens were a valuable part of the ecosystem, so the human colony had to spend the rest of their resources on terraforming. Fortunately the colonists were very experienced terraformers, and therefore succeeded. Unfortunately this didn't mean that they saved many resources, so they still had to leave the comfort of technology and start living off the new formed land. Fortunately, on that land, the crop was growing very well, so they had enough to eat. Unfortunately, plowing, fertilizing and seeding the land, the colonizers destroyed the only natural barrier that, until now, had kept the spores of an ancient race of evil intelligent plants dormant. Fortunately the evil plants weren't adapted to the new biosphere, so they mutated into a more diplomatic race. Unfortunately, they used their new supervegetal skills in diplomacy to make the humans sign a treaty exchanging all human cities in the planet for an old, smelly piece of masculine underwear they had stolen earlier. Fortunately the plants were smart with managing society so that all the humans got to sit back and enjoy the utopian society they had been looking for. Unfortunately, after they finally got it, the humans realized that an utopian society isn't as cool as they thought, and quickly got bored. Fortunately the plants found that the humans were too much of a drain, and decided to act upon part of the treaty which wasn't that clear, so that the humans were exiled into the red ocean of the planet.

Red Ocean
Unfortunately, though the plants were fair diplomats, they were terrible clerics; the humans were sent to the Green Sea (a jungle) due to a clerical error. Fortunately this allowed the humans to not have to learn to live underwater, red water, and just learn how to forage about in a jungle with wild beasts. Unfortunately they were very afraid of wild beasts, so they lived in a constant fear of the jungle. Fortunately, the wild beasts turned out to not be that wild, they just looked crazy while eating ice cream. Unfortunately, since wild beasts don't have technology to produce ice cream, this could only mean that the anarchists were trying to artificially produce intelligent life by giving ice cream to random animals, and if they succeeded, nothing would be able to stop them. Fortunately, it turned out that anarchists weren't giving ice cream to random animals, but instead, the animals found a plant that produced ice cream. Unfortunately, that could only mean that the diplomatic race of intelligent plants was trying to artificially produce intelligent life by giving ice cream to random animals, and if they succeeded, nothing would be able to stop them. Fortunately nothing showed up after the intelligent plants' plans were found, which spoiled the plans. Unfortunately, nothing was slowly consuming the planet in its mission to stop the intelligent life. Fortunately this meant that there were no threats, so the unfortunate event turned out to be fortunate.

Travelling around
Unfortunately the absence of any threats caused the colonists to become inattentive, and thus they didn't notice that a space ship with evil aliens from another planet landed on this planet. Fortunately, the evil aliens only wanted to know the direction to Alpha Capricornius, (in order to start a galactic war or something) so the colonists were able to take a ride with them and return to their non-utopian civilization. Unfortunately, the evil aliens took a wrong turn at Sirius and killed each other while arguing over who's fault it was, and so the humans were stuck on a ship with foreign controls. Fortunately there was a foreigner among the colonists, so they got to a planet called Tignitgitgimnitrifgitmitfinpinfilkindinfitpinwinwinwin, and so they colonized the planet. Unfortunately Tignitgitgimnitrifgitmitfinpinfilkindinfitpinwinwinwin denied them refugee status and they were deported to the N-Zone. Fortunately, the N-Zone, though cold and unhappy sounding, was in fact a refuge & resort for people wanting to celebrate, and the colonists had really been sent there because they won The L-Lottery (L is the name for the only intelligent race to inhabit Tignitgitgimnitrifgitmitfinpinfilkindinfitpinwinwinwin, Though they were sometimes called WinWins). Unfortunately all the humans got caught on their lottery luckiness and gambled all their money away at a casino. Fortunately they still had the starship with foreign controls, so they sold it, and started gambling again! Unfortunately this meant that they lost their ship, which couldn't be rebought since they lost all their money since they decided to gamble away the billion dollar jack pot they had won. Fortunately they were now doomed to spent the rest of their miserable lives on a pleasure planet, doomed to endless hours of fun and games. Unfortunately they soon started to get bored by the games. Fortunately, there was an obscure law in the N-Zone that stated that any person too bored to continue there, could get a ship, free of charge, and leave. Unfortunately, the ship was crap and imploded in the middle of space. Fortunately, the implosion was caused by a rip in the space-time continuum, that sent the colonists somewhere else in time and space. Unfortunately this placed the colonists in the Red Ocean.