Talk:FRiENDS ~ LOVE CiRCLE/3

See the comments I made for the previous chapter.

Once again, the focus of this story seems to be on gossip and random talk that is entirely unhelpful in driving the story. I will be blunt with you and tell you up front that I find the story very boring, because there's no motivational drive to continue. There's no suspense and only minimal conflict to speak of; characters are all flat; there are too many characters to keep track of; and I find skimming to be the best way to read this work.

Check out others' stories. See Saphrona's Jewel (shameless self advertising here) - it's a good example of a concise story. In much of the story if you skip even one paragraph, the next paragraph seems like a non-sequitur, forcing you to read each sentence one by one, and to read them carefully. That's what you want your readers to do. 16:23, 25 January 2008 (UTC)