Cripple-Girl Begins

Darkness.

Show title.

Fade into scene of traffic on a city road. The words “Toronto, Ontario, Canada” fade onto screen. Camera zooms slowly down to road. White car drives by and camera zooms into car. Inside, Heather Umerk is driving to the drug store. A large black SUV zooms past her, going far faster than the speed limit.

Heather: Idiot.

Heather notices the customized license plate: U SUCK.

Heather: What a jerk.

Cut to scene of Heather driving into store parking lot. The lot is quite full. She stops to wait for a car in front of her to pass. The big black SUV drives into parking lot and pulls into a handicapped space. The handicapped space is the closest to the building, and many cars are parked beside it. A young bald man in a white T-shirt gets out of the SUV and slams the door shut. He walks into the store. A small red car drives up to the space and stops. It then drives into a space much farther away from the building. An elderly man climbs out of the car with a walker and begins to push it across the lot, towards the store. Heather looks into the drug store and sees the bald man buying cigarettes.

Heather: Maybe think about changing that “U” to an “I” on your license plate.

Cut to scene of Heather driving to her house near a forest. She parks the car, gets out, and walks into her home. Inside, she has a parrot in a cage, a rough-skinned newt in a tank, and a big white and grey husky sleeping on the floor. The husky raises its head, leaps up, and runs towards Heather.

Heather (patting the husky): Hey, did you miss me, Herb?

The parrot lifts its head up high and chirps. Heather walks to a closet and opens it. She reaches inside and gets a leash and collar.

Heather (looking at Herb): Herb! Wanna go for a walk? Walkie?

Herb looks excitedly at Heather.

Cut to scene of Heather walking Herb down a road. Herb has stopped to sniff a bush. Heather turns around.

Heather: C’mon, Herb!

Herb runs past Heather. He runs too far and yanks on his leash. Heather stumbles forward a bit.

Heather: Whoa! Slow, Herb!

Heather slips and falls into the ditch. Her heel wedges in between two thick bush stems.

Heather: OW! CRAP!

A man walking by on the other side of the road runs toward Heather.

Man: Oh my gosh! Are you okay?

Heather (groaning): Oooh, I think I sprained my ankle or something.

Man (pulling his cell phone out of his pocket): I’ll call for an ambulance!

Heather moans and lightly touches her ankle. Herb looks at Heather and whines. Heather hugs Herb.

Cut to scene of Heather sitting on a bed in a doctor’s office.

Doctor: Well, it looks like you broke your ankle. We’re going to have to go in there and put a pin in as soon as possible.

Heather: Dang, I have a lecture at the university tomorrow!

Doctor: I guess you’re going to have to miss it. You’ll stay overnight here and we’ll do surgery tomorrow.

Heather stares at the floor with an annoyed expression.

Cut to scene of nuclear power plant. Inside, Derek Taemisch is sitting in a revolving chair in front of a large panel of screens and buttons, drinking coffee. In the room, there is a large pot with a holly plant in it. A stout man walks into Derek’s office.

Man: What’s with the plant?

Derek: My wife gave it to me for the office. It actually doesn’t look too bad.

Man: Yeah. Anyway, I’m gonna make some coffee. Do you want me to bring you a cup?

Derek (lifting his coffee mug): Already got some. But thanks anyway.

Man: Did you hear about what Umerk did?

Derek: Oh, that bloody ornithologist? Yeah. Geez, what a whiner.

The man walks out of Derek’s office. Derek turns back to the panel. A green light begins flashing on a screen. It makes a quiet dinging noise. Derek reaches for a knob and twists it, keeping his eyes on the screen. The dinging continues. Derek twists the knob again, with a puzzled expression on his face. The green light turns yellow and the dinging turns into a beeping. Derek puts his coffee mug down and flips a switch next to the knob. He turns it again. Still, nothing happens.

Derek (irritated): Ah, what’s going on?

A woman walks into Derek’s office.

Woman: What is that?

Derek: I think... well... look at this.

The woman walks towards the panel and looks at the screen. She turns the knob. Nothing happens.

Woman: That is weird.

The beeping gets louder and the yellow light turns orange. Derek presses a button next to the knob. The words “UNABLE TO SEND COMMAND” appear on the screen. Suddenly, the orange light turns red, the beeping turns into a siren that sounds across the entire power plant, and red lights begin flashing everywhere.

Derek (panicking): No no no no no!

Derek frantically presses buttons and turns knobs on the panel. He leaps out of his chair and runs to a radio on the wall. He picks it up and speaks into it.

Derek: Mr. Hellmann! I think we’ve got a meltdown!

A voice sounds throughout the power plant.

Voice: WARNING! EVACUATE IMMEDIATELY!

The woman runs out of the office. Derek tries turning the knob for a last time, but still nothing happens. A loud rumbling noise echoes through the power plant. Derek starts to run out of the office, but is stopped when a huge cloud of smoke engulfs him. He stumbles backwards and falls onto the holly plant. There is a giant flash of light and a tearing and exploding sound.

Cut to scene of entire nuclear power plant entirely devastated. There is smoke rising from various parts of the building, and other parts are completely destroyed. Fire trucks are spraying water onto the power plant. Firefighters with gas masks are everywhere, searching in the rubble and spraying the fires.

Firefighter (to fire chief): Shouldn’t we be more careful of the radiation?

Fire chief: There ain’t too much. We won’t even have to evacuate anyone from the city.

Meanwhile, a firefighter is looking under pieces of rubble for survivors. He lifts up a heavy slab of metal to find someone’s arm sticking out of the debris underneath. He then frantically begins lifting junk from around the arm. Derek is lying on his side, motionless. The firefighter bends down quickly and puts his ear to Derek’s chest.

Firefighter (to another firefighter): I found a survivor!

The firefighter looks back down at Derek. Suddenly, Derek opens his eyes. His pupils are bright green.

Firefighter (startled): What th...?

Derek leaps up. His skin is covered in cuts and scrapes. On one side of his body, there are many holly spines stuck into his skin. His teeth have become pointed and triangular, and his fingernails are sharp claws. He grabs the firefighter by the throat and lifts him off the ground. Derek grins maliciously.

Derek (blood dripping from his mouth): Oh, I didn’t just survive.

Derek throws the firefighter at a fire truck. The firefighter hits the side and falls to the ground. All the other firefighters stare at Derek. Derek roars ferociously and throws a large cement chunk at the fire chief. The chunk hits the fire chief and smashes him into a fire truck. Derek then picks up more rubble and chucks it at the firefighters. The firefighters all shout and run for the fire trucks. They all drive away, leaving Derek standing on the power plant ruins. Derek clenches his fists and grins savagely.

Cut to scene of Heather sitting on a couch at home, watching television. She is petting Herb, who is lying beside her on the couch. On TV, the words “Breaking News: Nuclear Power Plant Explosion, Creates ‘Mutant Man’” appear.

Heather (guffawing): “Mutant Man”?

Heather’s parrot, Pteron: Mutant man? Mutant man?

Reporter on TV (standing in front of the ruined power plant): This is Cate Pouliski reporting live. Just an hour ago, the nuclear power plant exploded due to unknown causes...

Cut to real scene of power plant with police cars stopped in front. Police officers jump out of the cars with guns and point them at the power plant. A SWAT vehicle pulls up. The SWAT officers (wearing gas masks) get out of the vehicle and run towards the nuclear power plant with their guns at the ready. They climb over rubble for a while, and then enter the rest of the power plant that is still intact.

Cut to scene of Heather watching the TV intently.

Reporter on TV (the camera zooms closer to the power plant): The SWAT officers are entering now.

Cut to scene of power plant. Suddenly, there is the sound of submachine guns firing. The guns then stop.

(silence)

Cut to scene of Heather watching the TV. On the TV, two SWAT officers come crashing out of a high-up window on the power plant. Derek Taemisch leaps out of the window and lands perfectly on the ground. One side of his body is covered in cuts from where he had holly spines in his skin. All his skin is a greyish green colour. The police officers stare at him for a moment. Derek picks up a sharp piece of metal from the rubble and throws it horizontally at a police officer. The metal hits the officer in the forehead. Derek smiles evilly. The police officer falls down to the ground, dead. The police officers fire their guns at Derek. The bullets bounce off Derek’s skin and fly everywhere. He picks up some more metal pieces and jumps high into the air. He lands between two police officers and thrusts the metal shards into their necks.

Cut to scene of Heather watching TV with horror.

Reporter on TV (to the cameraman): We have to go now. Put the camera aECCHHKK...

The reporter’s voice stops. Suddenly, a sharp piece of metal hurls toward the camera. Heather’s TV shows static, then darkness, and then a woman and a man in a newsroom.

Woman on TV (with her hands over her mouth): Oh god. Oh god...

The man just sits there, looking horrified. A blue screen with the words “OFF AIR” appear on the TV. Heather stares at the TV.

Heather (shaking her head): Wha...

Cut to scene of Heather sitting at her table, eating a sandwich. She is staring off into space. Herb is lying on the floor, whining at Heather.

Heather: Herb! No whining.

Heather keeps staring into space. Then she frowns and looks sideways.

Cut to scene of Heather walking with crutches up someone else’s driveway. It is raining. Heather knocks on the door of the house. After a few seconds, the door opens, and Loretta Wemblee is standing inside.

Loretta (who speaks in a British accent): Heather! Great to see you!

Heather: You too! Sorry for intruding.

Loretta: Oh, bull. Come inside quickly and get out of the rain.

Heather walks inside and Loretta closes the door. The house is large and fancy.

Loretta: So how the heck have you been?

Heather: Not bad, not bad. Did you hear about what happened just about 2 or 3 hours ago on the news?

Loretta: Eh, um... I guess not.

Heather: The power plant had a meltdown or something. Part of it exploded, and mutated some guy into this weird... mutant guy.

Loretta: What?!

Heather: Yeah, it looks like this guy can throw things really well and jump really high.

Loretta (guffawing): No way. That sounds like something from one of those silly comic books. It’s true, though?

Heather: Amazingly, yes.

Loretta: That’s the weirdest thing I’ve ever heard.

Heather: Anyway, I’m here to see Ralph. Is he here?

Loretta: Yep. He’s dismantling a rifle right now to look at the doohickey thingamajigs.

Heather: Ah, those darned doohickey thingamajigs.

Cut to scene of Ralph Wemblee sitting at a desk, taking apart a rifle. In the room, there are many guns hanging on the walls; bolts, screws, and metal scraps on tables; and boxes of tools. Heather walks into the room.

Heather: Hey Ralph.

Ralph (who speaks in a British accent, startled): AAH! Oh, hi. Heh.

Heather: I’ve got an idea. I came to you because you’re so dang good at mechanics and stuff.

Ralph (smiling): Okay. So, what’s on your mind?

Heather walks up to Ralph and puts one of her crutches on the desk.

Cut to scene of Derek in the power plant portion that is still intact. He is walking down a short hallway, which has char marks and ash all over it. Derek is breathing heavily. He walks up to a dead man lying on the floor, who is wearing a green shirt. Derek pulls the shirt off the man and stares at it. It is intact except for a few burn holes.

Derek (grinding his teeth together): Hmm.

Cut to scene of Derek wearing a green suit. The suit is tattered in spots. It has a complete sleeve on Derek’s left arm, but no sleeve on his right arm. His right arm now has green spines coming out of the skin. He picks up a sheet of metal that has fallen from the ceiling. Derek grins cruelly.

Cut to scene of city. A white van with a man driving and a man in the passenger seat drives up to a CIBC bank. The van stops, and the two men get out. The back door of the van opens and two more men get out. All four men have backpacks on. They walk inside the bank and take submachine guns out of their packs. They shoot at the ceiling.

Thief 1: EVERYONE HIT THE FLOOR!

All the people in the bank lie down on the floor. The four robbers run to an instant teller and begin shooting at it.

Cut to scene of Heather walking with her crutches towards the bank. She has a grey coat on and a blue mask that covers her eyes and nose. She walks into the bank slowly, not looking up at the robbers. The thieves all look at Heather and point their guns at her. Heather doesn’t look up.

Thief 2: HIT THE FLOOR!

Heather keeps walking. Thief 2 fires his gun at the ceiling above Heather. Little pieces of plaster rain down from the roof. Heather flips her coat off. Underneath, she is wearing a blue suit with a white handicapped symbol on the chest. She pushes down a button on each of her crutches and flames come out of the bottoms. Heather flies into the air, over the thieves. The rockets on her crutches stop and she presses a different button. Her crutches begin firing bullets rapidly, like a machine gun. She waves the crutches out from her sides, and shoots all four robbers in a split-second. She lands on the floor. All the people lying on the floor stare at Heather. Heather takes a coin out of a belt she is wearing. She flips it into the middle of the room. Heather walks out the door and rockets away. Everyone is silent as they get off the floor. They all look at the coin. One man picks it up and looks at it. On one side, it has the handicapped symbol engraved in it. The man turns it over. On the other side, it says “Cripple-Girl”.

Cut to scene of outside a tall office building. It is raining heavily. Derek walks along the sidewalk towards the building. He is wearing a large raincoat with the hood up. He stops when he gets to the entrance to the building. He bends down and takes a thick green metal disk out of inside his raincoat. He puts it near the ground and flicks a switch on it. A few small seeds fall out of the disk. Derek puts the disk back in his raincoat and runs away.

Cut to scene of inside the office building, on a high-up floor. People are at their desks, working on their computers.

Man 1 (with his back to the room’s window): Did Quemman like your design?

Man 2 (facing the window): He said it was okay. He said I should work more on...

Man 2 stares at the window.

Man 1: Work more on?

Man 2: What the he...

Man 1 turns quickly to look at the window. There is a holly stem creeping up the window.

Man 1: Geez! What the... what’s that?

Man 2 walks up to the window. He looks down. There is a huge holly plant growing rapidly up the side of the building.

Man 2: Holy crap!

More holly stems creep up the building’s side. Man 1 and Man 2 and all the other people in the office stare at the window, murmuring. Man 1 runs out of the office into another room where there are more windows. Holly plants have covered the window entirely. He runs back to his office.

Man 1: They’re all over!

A woman in the room looks at her feet. A small holly stem has grown through the floor. It continues growing upward.

Woman: Oh my god! They’re coming through the floor!

More holly plants crack through the floor. They keep growing up and up through the building’s floors.

Man 2: I’m gettin’ out!

Man 2 runs out of the room. There is a huge, low creaking sound. Parts of the ceiling start falling out. Man 1 and another man both suddenly fall through the floor.

Cut to scene of outside the building, which it entirely covered in moving holly plants. Huge sections of the building begin crumbling. The holly plants try to rock the building back and forth. The whole structure then just falls apart. There is a huge cloud of dust as the building implodes.

Cut to scene of Heather walking down a sidewalk in the city. She turns a corner and sees the wreckage from the office building and the gigantic holly plants swaying around it.

Heather (gasping): What in hellfire...

Police cars, ambulances, and fire trucks drive by Heather with their sirens on. They pull up to the wreckage. Heather looks up and sees the holly plants sway backwards, and then fling forwards.

Heather: LOOK OUT!

Heather jumps behind the street corner. The holly plants smash down on the ground with tremendous force, crushing the emergency vehicles and everything else underneath it. The holly then uprights itself. Heather slowly looks around the street corner. Everything on the road is completely smashed. There are holly leaves lying on the ground all over the place.

Heather (on the edge of tears): Oh my god...

Cut to scene of Heather crutching quickly out of her house. She has her full Cripple-Girl suit on. She opens the door of a shed in her yard. Inside, there is a shiny, high-tech looking wheelchair with a rocket engine on the back: the Cripplemobile. Heather hops into it and attaches her crutches to the side. She straps herself in and works some controls on the Cripplemobile. Fire blasts out of the rocket engine and the Cripplemobile zooms away.

Cut to scene of a news helicopter flying through the sky over the destroyed office building. There is a man driving the helicopter and a man reporting.

Reporter (looking at a camera behind him in the helicopter): This is Douglas Nurmita reporting live, overlooking the remains of the Gorman Building. An estimated 40 minutes ago, huge plants, that seem to be holly plants, grew incredibly rapidly and destroyed the building somehow.

The holly plants, which are right next to the helicopter, begin to sway gently.

(pause)

Reporter (to the man driving the helicopter): Are they just swaying in the wind?

The holly plants bend away from the helicopter.

Reporter: Holy hell!

The holly plants swing towards the helicopter.

Reporter: SWEET MOTHER OF...

Cripple-Girl flies through the air on her crutches. She presses a button on them, and blades come out of the sides. She throws both of them at the holly plants. The crutches slice two of the plants clean in half. The stems go flying right beneath the helicopter, and the other holly plants, which are too far away to reach the helicopter, just miss. Cripple-Girl falls through the air. Both of her crutches fly back towards her, and she grabs them. She points them at the ground and turns on the rockets. She flies up in the air just before she hits the ground.

Reporter: (whimpers)

Cripple-Girl lands on the sidewalk.

Cripple-Girl (breathing heavily, retracting the blades on her crutches): Wow.

She looks at the holly plants. The two cut stems slowly heal and start to re-grow. The other holly plants sway backwards.

Cripple-Girl: WHOOPS! Oh, geez.

Cripple-Girl turns on her crutch rockets and flies away just before a holly plant crashes to the ground where she was standing. She flies above the plants, and then flies down and lands right at the base of one of them. She makes the blades come out of her crutches and hacks away at the base of a holly plant.

Cripple-Girl: Not working...

The holly plants swing their bushes at Cripple-Girl. Cripple-Girl ducks and rockets away. She lands on the sidewalk. The holly plants sway backwards, preparing to crush her. Cripple-Girl points her crutches at the crushed remains of the emergency vehicles. She fires the crutches. The bullets bounce off the pavement and spark. The sparks light the spilt gasoline from the vehicles. Cripple-Girl immediately rockets away just as the holly plants are about to hit the ground. The gasoline ignites, and a huge mushroom cloud of fire engulfs the holly. The plants recoil and sway around helplessly in the air as they burn. Two fire trucks, a police car, and three ambulances drive around the corner. They stop, and firemen immediately get out of the fire trucks, grab fire hoses, and rush towards the burning holly. Cripple-Girl stand in front of the road with her crutches out to her sides.

Cripple-Girl: STOP!

The firemen stop and stare at Cripple-Girl.

Cripple-Girl: They’re supposed to be on fire! Let them burn.

The firemen look at the holly plants. One by one, they fall down to the ground with a muffled thump.

Cripple-Girl: Okay! Go for ‘em.

A police officer runs up to Cripple-Girl.

Police officer: Are you “Cripple-Girl”?

Cripple-Girl: That’s right.

Cripple-Girl turns on her rockets and flies away. The police officer looks at the burning holly plants, which are now being extinguished by the firefighters. He smiles contentedly.

Cut to scene of inside Heather’s house. Heather comes out of the bathroom, holding her Cripple-Girl suit. She walks into her bedroom, opens her closet, and puts the suit inside. She then walks into her living room, where Herb is eating out of his dish.

Heather: Boy, Herb, what a day! Destroying giant mutant plants isn’t easy.

Heather sits down on her couch and turns on the TV. The news is on.

Man being interviewed on TV: If she had been there two seconds later, Eric and I would’ve been killed. Just... swatted out of the sky like a bug!

Heather (smiling): Aaah, this is satisfying.

Woman on TV, in newsroom: Nobody yet knows the true identity of Cripple-Girl, but one man says she looks a bit like his friend, Lacey MacAllan.

Heather: Way off.

On TV, a man in the newsroom begins talking.

Man: It is still a mystery as to how these huge plants g...

Cut to scene of the newsroom. Suddenly, Derek Taemisch blasts through the roof. The man and woman inside scream. Derek is wearing the green suit, which now has a spiny, bright-green “H” on the chest. On his face, he has a mask covering his eyes, which have two glowing green slits for eyeholes. In his hand, Derek has a curved sword. The sharp edge of the sword is jagged.

Derek: Oh, it won’t be such a mystery any more now!

Derek kills the two people in the newsroom with his sword.

Derek (grinning maliciously): THE NAME’S HOLLY!

Derek pulls a jagged green metal disk out of his belt. He throws it at the camera.

Cut to scene of Heather sitting on her couch. Her TV screen fills with static. Heather jumps out of her seat.

Heather: Oh come on! That wasn’t much of a break!

Cut to scene of Cripple-Girl driving the Cripplemobile. It is raining heavily. She drives up to the CBC broadcasting station. Everything on the outside looks normal. Cripple-Girl stops the Cripplemobile in front of the building. She walks up to the main entrance and opens the door. At the front desk, there is a woman in a chair, slumped over onto the desk. There is blood on the desk.

Cripple-Girl (as lightning flashes outside): Oh my god! Oh no...

Cripple-Girl looks up a stairway. There is a dead man lying on the stairs with two bloody cuts down his back.

Cripple-Girl: Oh my god... no...

A cruel laugh echoes quietly through the room where Cripple-Girl is standing. She looks around quickly. On both sides of her, holly plants are creeping up walls and through ceilings. Cripple-Girl points her crutches at one plant and fires. The plant falls apart in one spot, but starts to re-grow again a second later. Derek, who is now Holly, walks calmly around a corner and looks over the balcony that the stairs lead up to.

Holly: You might want to get out soon, Cripple-Girl...

Cripple-Girl looks up at Holly.

Holly: But, I don’t really want you to leave... if you left, I might not get a chance to pulverize you into paste.

Cripple-Girl: What do you want paste for, to cover up your hideous face?

Holly throws a holly disk at Cripple-Girl. Cripple-Girl shoots it out of the air.

Holly: Oh good, I love prey that fights back.

Cripple-Girl: You are aware that Holly is a girl’s name, right?

Holly grabs his sword out of his pocket. He pushes a button on the handle. The blade begins moving back and forth very fast, like a saw. Holly jumps off the balcony and lands right in front of Cripple-Girl. Cripple-Girl taps the heel of her boot cast and short blades come out of the sides, and a longer blade comes out of the toe. Cripple-Girl extends the blades on her crutches and swings one of her crutches and her boot at Holly. Holly does a backflip. He and Cripple-Girl swordfight with their blades. Suddenly, pieces of the roof crumble away and fall down around Cripple-Girl. Holly leaps back up onto the balcony. Cripple-Girl fires her guns at Holly, but the bullets just bounce off his skin.

Holly: I’ll just sit back at relax while my plant children tear you apart. By the way, your “Cripple-Girl” superhero idea is completely pathetic. Worst idea ever.

Cripple-Girl: Bye, Miss Holly.

Cripple-Girl turns around to the door. It is completely covered in holly. Cripple-Girl shoots at it, but it doesn’t work. She runs down a hallway to the side of her. Holly plants are engulfing the walls and ceiling. She turns a corner. Holly plants have completely blocked the hallway. Cripple-Girl whirls around and starts running back to where she came from. The holly plants have blocked the hall where she came in.

Cripple-Girl: Oh my god, I’m trapped!

There is a huge low creaking noise.

Cripple-Girl: Oh geez!

Cripple-Girl looks at the floor. Holly roots are growing across the floor and cracking it. Suddenly, Cripple-Girl falls through the floor. She lands in a small, mostly dark room with two lights on. She darts for a metal table and gets under it. She curls into a ball and puts her arms over her head. There is a huge, low rumbling sound. Bits of the ceiling fall out. Dust and cement falls through the hole that Cripple-Girl fell through. One of the lights in the room goes out. The rumbling sound stops. Everything is quiet.

Cripple-Girl: Guess this is just one of those days.

Cripple-Girl gets out from beneath the table. She walks over to a door that leads out of the room. She opens it a crack, but it is blocked by debris outside. Cripple-Girl walks to the hole in the ceiling that she fell through. It is blocked by rubble. Cripple-Girl looks around with a puzzled look on her face. She looks up at the roof. Some big holly roots are clinging, motionless, to the ceiling. Cripple-Girl points her crutches at them and fires. The roots writhe around. The ceiling around them crumbles. Cripple-Girl runs back under the table. The roof caves in where the holly plant is. Cripple-Girl gets out from under the table and leaps through the hole in the roof.

Cripple-Girl (with her eyes closed): Ah, fresh air.

She quickly opens her eyes with a look of fright. She looks around. Many towering holly plants sway around her.

Cripple-Girl: When will it end?

Cripple-Girl does a backflip through the air and lands next to the base of a holly plant. She extends the blades on her crutches and runs from holly plant to holly plant, severing the stems.

Cripple-Girl: 4... 5... 6... 7... 8!

The last holly plant falls to the ground.

Cripple-Girl: I am really getting the hang of this.

Cripple-Girl rockets away.

Cut to scene of a police station. Three police officers are at a computer. Cripple-Girl lands outside the door to the station and enters.

Cripple-Girl: Were is he?

Police officer: Who?

Cripple-Girl: Holly! Don’t you know where he is?

Police officer: Wha... who’s Holly?

Cripple-Girl (annoyed): Didn’t you see the news?

Police officer: Why, is there a... wh...

Cripple-Girl (squeezing her eyes shut for a moment, quickly): Ah, man! Don’t you know about the psychotic mutant murderer that makes all these giant holly plants around town? ‘Cause I do, and he’s gonna tear this city apart if I don’t tear him apart first! He’s a maniacal monstrous murdering moron who’s loose in this city killing whoever he dang well pleases and you don’t know where he is, let alone know that he even exists?

The police officers stare at Cripple-Girl.

Cripple-Girl: NNYYYRRRRGGGHH! You know the guy who got mutated in the power plant explosion?

Police officer: Yeah, we don’t know where he is.

Cripple-Girl (angrily): I suspected as much.

Police officer: So... he’s loose in the city?

Cripple-Girl: Yeah! He destroyed the CBC building half an hour ago!

Police officer: WHAT? Boys, get ambulances and fire trucks and send them to the CBC station, now!

The other two police officers run out of the room.

Cripple-Girl: Send some officers to look for Holly.

Police officer: The guy’s name’s Holly?

Cripple-Girl: Yeah. He’s who’s been growing these huge holly plants. They’re what he used to wreck the news station.

Police officer: Okay. I’ll send a few copters to look for him.

The police officer picks up a telephone on his desk.

Police officer: Derkins, Ballaman, Kretz, take your copters out over the city. Look for...

Cripple-Girl: A man dressed in green with a weird suit on.

Police officer: A man dressed in a strange green suit. Look around the CBC broadcasting station first, and spread out from there. Maybe check around the nuclear power plant too.

The police officer puts the telephone back down.

Police officer: Sorry. That wasn’t too detailed.

Cripple-Girl: Oh, they’ll recognize him when they see him, trust me.

Cripple-Girl walks out the door. She looks out over the city. A long ways away, she sees nine holly plants towering over the buildings around it. They are not too far away from the CN Tower.

Cripple-Girl: Oh my god, no!

Cripple-Girl runs back inside the police station.

Cripple-Girl: He’s headed for the CN Tower!

Police officer: Oh my god!

The police officer picks up the telephone on his desk.

Police officer: Kretz! Derkins! Ballaman! Head for the CN Tower NOW!

Cut to scene of three helicopters flying off of the top of the police station in heavy rain. They fly towards the CN Tower. Tenth and eleventh holly plants begin to grow above the buildings. The helicopters reach the plants.

Kretz (to a man in the back of the helicopter): John! Fire at ‘em!

The man in the back of the helicopter shoots at the base of a holly plant. The plant jiggles for a moment, and then swings toward the helicopter. The helicopter flies out of the way. Another holly plant swings at another helicopter. That helicopter flies out of the way, but smashes into another helicopter. The two damaged copters fall out of the sky, one of them flaming. They hit the ground and explode. The police officer’s voice sounds in the radio of the last helicopter.

Police officer: Derkins! Did you find him?

Derkins: No! There are a whole bunch of giant plants. They took out Kretz and Ballaman!

Police officer: Already? Oh no...

Cripple-Girl rockets under the helicopter and heads toward the CN Tower. She lands at the base of the tower and walks in the entrance. There is a huge holly plant growing right up the centre of the tower. Its base is over a metre thick.

Cripple-Girl: Whoa.

Cripple-Girl swings her crutches at the plant’s base. She stops as a police officer runs inside the building.

Police officer: Don’t! If you chop it down, it’s gonna bring the rest of the tower down with it!

Cripple-Girl: It’s a lot more likely to bring the building down when it’s alive! It’s rooted itself to the sides of the building with its branches. Hopefully, it won’t fall over.

Police officer: Yeah. Hopefully.

Cripple-Girl hacks away at the plant until it is cut. There is a creaking noise that comes from the top of the tower. Cripple-Girl holds her breath. The creaking stops.

Cripple-Girl: Whew.

Cripple-Girl walks outside. She looks at the tower. A long ways up, Holly is climbing upwards. Cripple-Girl rockets up to where he is. She fires her guns at him for a moment. Holly flips across the side of the tower.

Holly: Quit pestering me, would you please? You’re quite an irritation.

Holly takes a green blob out of the back of his belt. He throws it at Cripple-Girl. It hits her in the chest and instantly grows roots around her arms.

Cripple-Girl: AAH!

Cripple-Girl is unable to move her rockets to go the way she wants. She flies upwards for a moment, and then the roots grip her hands so that she can’t hold the correct buttons. She begins to fall.

Cripple-Girl: AAAAAAAAAAAH!

Cripple-Girl falls and falls until she frees one of her fingers from the root blob and turns one of her rockets on. She turns and flies upwards again right before hitting the ground. She lets go of the rocket button at just the right time and lands on one foot on the ground. She wobbles and falls over.

Cripple-Girl: OOF!

A police officer runs to Cripple-Girl and tries to pull the roots off of her.

Cripple-Girl: Use a knife!

Police officer: Okay!

The police officer pulls out a pocket knife and cuts some of the roots. The root blob writhes and jumps off Cripple-Girl. It wiggles on the ground. Cripple-Girl stands up and shoots it. She then looks at the CN Tower. Holly is nowhere in sight.

Cripple-Girl: He’s gotta be at the top!

Cripple-Girl rockets up the top of the tower. Once there, she lands on the roof. Holly is not there.

Cripple-Girl: Hmmm...

Cripple-Girl’s foot slips on the wet roof. She extends the blades on her boot, but both her feet slide off the side of the roof. She extends the blades on her crutches. One of them slips off, but the other crutch sticks into the roof. Cripple-Girl is hanging by one crutch off the roof. Holly walks to the edge.

Holly: Want to know what crippled really is?

Holly throws a root blob onto Cripple-Girl’s head.

Cripple-Girl: ARRGH!

Cripple-Girl digs her boot blade into the side of the tower. She pushes her leg and does a flip in the air and lands on the roof. She smacks Holly on the side of the head with one crutch, and twirls her other crutch in her hand and spears the root blob off her head. Holly falls over and then jumps high in the air and throws two holly disks at Cripple-Girl. Cripple-Girl digs one of her crutch blades into the roof and swings out of the way.

Cripple-Girl: Don’t you have anything better to do?

Holly: I can’t even think of something I’d rather be doing than attacking a hopelessly disabled moron who’s seen too many superhero movies!

Holly takes his sword out of his belt. He throws it at Cripple-Girl, who waves both of her crutches at it at the same time. The sword spins around in the air. Holly catches it and jumps forward onto the blades of Cripple-Girl’s crutches. He waves his sword at Cripple-Girl’s head. She ducks and does a flip forward, flipping Holly through the air and onto his back. Holly begins sliding off the roof. He digs his claws into the roof and leaps up. Cripple-Girl swings both her crutches at Holly. Holly blocks one with his foot and carefully grabs the other crutch with his hand. He twirls the crutch around and throws it off the roof. Cripple-Girl puts the end of her crutch to Holly’s chest.

Cripple-Girl: You wanna surrender, or get nailed?

Holly: Gee, I’d love to get shot, but I’ve got a certain person to eviscerate before I do. That okay?

Cripple-Girl: Not at all.

Cripple-Girl fires her gun. Holly falls backwards, but gets back up. His chest is bleeding.

Holly: See? Pain is my best friend.

Holly leaps up onto the CN Tower’s needle. He climbs to the very top. Cripple-Girl rockets up to him, holding her crutch with both hands. She quickly grabs his hand, which is the hand that is covered in spines.

Cripple-Girl: AH!

Holly: You better watch what you grab next time.

Cripple-Girl falls back down to the roof. She gets up and fires her guns at Holly. The bullets bounce off him. Holly throws a holly disk at Cripple-Girl. It grazes her leg. She rockets upward and swings her crutch at Holly. It hooks him on his side and pulls him off the needle. Cripple-Girl and Holly both miss the roof and plummet. In the air, Holly throws a root blob on Cripple-Girl, hanging on to one of its roots. The root blob latches onto Cripple-Girl’s back. Holly tries to grab Cripple-Girl’s crutch. She turns the rocket on and Holly and her go into a wild spin about 20 m above the ground. Holly flies off of her and crashes through the window of an office building. Cripple-Girl lands on the ground. She looks at the building that Holly flew into. She rockets into the building and looks at Holly, who is laying face-first on the floor.

(pause)

Holly leaps off the floor and puts his sword to Cripple-Girl’s neck.

Holly: Can I eviscerate you now?

Cripple-Girl: Maybe later, if you behave.

Cripple-Girl swings her crutch at Holly’s legs. Holly falls to the floor, and then gets up again just as Cripple-Girl points her crutch at him and turns on the rocket. A blast of fire engulfs Holly as Cripple-Girl does a backflip. She runs towards him and hooks her crutch blade around him. She flings him out a window. Cripple-Girl walks to the window. Holly’s body is laying on the street, two stories down, flaming. Cripple-Girl rockets down to him. Three police officers run to her.

Police officer: Dang, you sure know how to defeat crazed mutant supervillains.

Cripple-Girl: Yep, I’m off to a good start.

Cripple-Girl looks over at the remaining holly plants just in time to see them shaking rapidly. They turn black and shrivel up.

Cripple-Girl (stretching): Well, I’ve had a good long week of mutant-slaying... I think I’ll call it a day.

Cripple-Girl wanders over to where her other crutch is. It is bent and broken.

Cripple-Girl: What a shame. Hey, can I borrow your phone?

A police officer hands his cell phone to Cripple-Girl.

Cripple-Girl: Thanks.

Cripple-Girl dials a number and puts the phone to her ear.

Cripple-Girl: Hey Ralph.

Ralph Wemblee (over the phone): Oh, hi Heather!

Cripple-Girl: Sorry about this, but I busted a crutch. Can y’make me another one? I’ll bring you the salvaged bits.

Ralph: No problem. Hey, I read about what the crazy mutant plant man’s been doing in the newspaper. It’s scary...

Cripple-Girl: Sure was. By the way, I busted my crutch shortly before I nailed Holly.

Ralph: Really? Oh, thank god.

Cripple-Girl: Thank me instead!

Ralph: O’ course. Anyway, why do you still want your crutch fixed if you’ve defeated him?

Cripple-Girl: Just because Holly’s gone, doesn’t mean there won’t be freaks still running all around this city.

Ralph: Right. Bring in the crutch bits and I’ll get started.

Cripple-Girl: Alright. Thanks.

Cripple-Girl hangs up.

Cut to credits.