2084 Happy/2

After performing a quick CheckPosition check, then emptying the CheckPosition query's log using his access to the program as the Chairman of the Department of Truth, Kelly found out that Pierre lived in a old light-blue building in the suburbs. Kelly took the elevator upstairs, thinking this was his last chance to stop this madness and go back. He realized that that chance had already passed. He walked towards the white door and knocked once. After several seconds, he hesitantly knocked once more, a little harder this time. He heard a woman's voice from the inside: "He's coming!" and then she laughed.

Some seconds later Pierre opened the door. "My wife. She's the reason I live here in London.", Kelly entered the cozy apartment with wood-paneled floor. The most striking feature of the living room was a immense home theater system that Kelly was impressed that fit in there. A redheaded woman was sitting on a water couch, laughing. She yelled to him (Or more probably to Pierre, since he had no idea what she meant): "The Irish guy said 'udders' again.". Pierre laughed softly, and seeing Kelly's puzzled expression he explained:

"Big Brother. She loves that thing. This Irish guy has this horrible accent (even for an Irishman, you know) and every time he means 'Others', he say 'udders'. She...enjoys it." But she obviously did more than enjoy it, as she demonstrated by laughing out loud again.

"Ahnn... I'm here to see that pipe in your bathroom. The one with a clog. I can fix it better than any repairman, you know?" began Kelly.

Pierre feigned, as if this were exactly what he had been waiting for. "Oh, I see. I was wondering if you came for that. It's through here," he replied. Kelly followed him through a narrow corridor into a green door, which Pierre closeed tight.

"It's sound proof. Don't worry. I suppose you thought about my offer?" asked Pierre.

Kelly nodded. "I want to help you."

Pierre frowned. "To topple the government?"

"Yes."

"You understand that would make you a revolutionary and that you could be arrested for that?".

Kelly hesitated, and then said "Yes."

"And you still want to do this?"

Kelly was getting angry "Yes, for crissake!"

"Well then...", suddenly Pierre whipped something from his right jacket pocket, pressed a button on it. It expanded and a blue light started to glow on the tip. He thrusted that into Kelly's stomach. "You're under arrest."

The last thing Kelly thought before passing out was that Pierre had spoken that with no accent at all.

Chapter Six - No good action goes unpunished
When he woke up, he was in a cell, and several guards bearing the insignias of the Party walked outside, beyond his reach but within sight and sound. When one of them noticed him stirring, he signaled to the others. "It's time," he said. The guards opened the prison door and held out a hand to pull Kelly up.

"So," began Kelly. "Am I under arrest for attempting to join the revolution?"

"We are glad that you understand your position, and the cause of it. Now follow me as we bring you to the inquisitorial room."

Kelly followed silently, and the guards escorted him to an office where another man was sitting comfortably in a swiveling chair.

"Ah, you must be that Jennings," Kelly acknowledged the man's presence.

But the man wasn't very happy about it. "Lieutenant Jennings, to you," he replied.

"Jennings is Jennings. That is the Truth. If I remember correctly, you have once been found to have committed adultery, and requested a CheckPerson--CheckPerson Andrew, if I am correct--that you wanted the record removed from the log? And that you did this, knowing full well that this was illegitimate?"

The man's face turned red. "What?" he asked, feigning not to know, but failing miserably.

"And also that if exposed, this fact could result in your imprisonment for ten years? How about another fact--that as Chairman of the Truth Department, I control access to this information, and I can release it as I wish to the public? How about another bit of truth: That I have set a counter, which restarts every time I access the Net as the Chairman of the Truth Department, which would otherwise automatically release all this devastating information if I don't touch that account for three days?"

"And have I any reason to assume that you aren't bluffing?"

"Because I know that as Chairman of the Truth Department, I am very likely to be captured in this way by mavericks, so that by insuring myself against everyone in society--which I can do, being in charge of the Truth Department--that I thereby ensure myself from any negative actions that you or anyone else may plan to perform on me. Tell me, with this truth revealed to you know, why wouldn't I have established such a counter?"

The man was growing faint. "You don't have such a counter..."

"Oh? Test me, why don't you. Your freedom won't survive a day after this Truth has been revealed. I'm sorry, but if you don't set me free and grant me access to a computer, you are absolutely doomed to ten years' time in jail."

"I don't believe it."

"Well your skin doesn't, but your mind does."

The man had nothing to say, so he started laughing, rather ironically, at himself, shaking his head at the same time. "All right, I'll set you free, but will you remove at least that bit from what you're going to reveal if you don't touch your account for three days?"

"Why do you ask? You have no way of knowing the truth about whether I follow up on my promise. But your fate is locked if you don't let me go, and you know it."

The man sighed, and drooped his head. "Very well, I guess I can't hold my own against you." Then he typed a string of characters into his computer, and the guards waiting outside responded by letting Kelly out.

...

Back at his workplace in the Department of Truth, he typed in several things on his computer:

open User/Flag:Kelly as #0 LOGIN REQUIRED FOR FLAG:KELLY >>kelly ************************* YOU HAVE SUCCESSFULLY LOGGED IN as #0. renew Ticking Time Bomb COUNTER "TICKING TIME BOMB" HAS BEEN RENEWED. open User/Salary:Tativel Jennings as #1 YOUR USER FLAG "CHAIRMAN" ALLOWS ACCESS TO FILE; FILE OPENED. FILE CONTENTS: "$44000 per annum" put "$46000 per annum" > #1 as addend close #1 EDIT SUMMARY? per annum below true value YOUR USER FLAG "CHAIRMAN" ALLOWS EDITING TO FILE. FILE AS BEEN CLOSED. open User/History:Kelly as #2 YOUR USER FLAG "CHAIRMAN" ALLOWS ACCESS TO FILE; FILE OPENED. FILE CONTENTS ARE EXTENDED. VIEW WHICH RANGE? 1354524+   1354524: 18:54, 10 JANUARY 2084: #0 LEFT HOME 1354525: 19:13, 10 JANUARY 2084: #0 ENTERED 45234-3422-34 (RESIDENTIAL) 1343426: 19:14, 10 JANUARY 2084: #0 HIT UNCONSCIOUS BY USER:PIERRE LAMARCK (REASON: AGREED TO JOIN    REVOLUTION) 1343427: 19:18, 10 JANUARY 2084: #0 BROUGHT TO ALVIN PRISON 1343428: 23:33, 10 JANUARY 2084: #0 ESCORTED TO INQUISITORIAL OFFICE 1343429: 23:35, 10 JANUARY 2084: #0 FREED FROM ALVIN PRISON 1343430: 23:39, 10 JANUARY 2084: #0 LEFT ALVIN PRISON 1343431: 00:04, 11 JANUARY 2084: #0 ENTERED 45234-3423-692 (DEPARTMENT OF TRUTH) 1343432: 00:04, 11 JANUARY 2084: #0 LOGGED IN delete 1343427-1343431 YOUR USER FLAG "CHAIRMAN" ALLOWS YOU TO PERFORM ACTION WITHOUT LEAVING A LOG. LEAVE A LOG? no YOUR USER FLAG "CHAIRMAN" ALLOWS DELETION OF PART OF FILE. put "#0 revived by user:pierre lamarck (reason: #0 agreed to join revolution only as a test of pierre lamarck's own inclinations)" > #2 as specific (1343427, 19:18, 10 JANUARY 2084) YOUR USER FLAG "CHAIRMAN" ALLOWS EDITING TO FILE. refresh 1354524: 18:54, 10 JANUARY 2084: #0 LEFT HOME 1354525: 19:13, 10 JANUARY 2084: #0 ENTERED 45234-3422-34 (RESIDENTIAL) 1343426: 19:14, 10 JANUARY 2084: #0 HIT UNCONSCIOUS BY USER:PIERRE LAMARCK (REASON: AGREED TO JOIN    REVOLUTION) 1343427: 19:18, 10 JANUARY 2084: #0 REVIVED BY USER:PIERRE LAMARCK (REASON: #0 AGREED TO JOIN     REVOLUTION ONLY AS A TEST OF PIERRE LAMARCK'S OWN INCLINATIONS) 1343431: 00:04, 11 JANUARY 2084: #0 ENTERED 45234-3423-692 (DEPARTMENT OF TRUTH) 1343432: 00:04, 11 JANUARY 2084: #0 LOGGED IN close #0 YOU ARE NOW SUCCESSFULLY LOGGED OFF.
 * 1) 0 found that #1's salary has been incorrectly marked as $2000

(For a layman, this transcript shows that Kelly gave a $2000 per year raise to Lieutenant Jennings, with the excuse that it had been a bit below what it should have been and is now corrected; that he deleted accounts of his being in prison; and that he added an account stating that he had been subsequently revived because he had only "agreed to join the revolution only as a test of Pierre Lamarck's own inclinations".)

Then he turned around and thought it all over again. Something didn't seem right... He whirled back to his computer and accessed his account:

open User/Flag:Kelly as #0 LOGIN REQUIRED FOR FLAG:KELLY >>kelly ************************* YOU HAVE SUCCESSFULLY LOGGED IN as #0. open User/History:Grant Keppler as #1 YOUR USER FLAG "CHAIRMAN" ALLOWS ACCESS TO FILE; FILE OPENED. FILE CONTENTS ARE EXTENDED. VIEW WHICH RANGE? 1364524+   1364524: 00:06, 11 JANUARY 2084: #1 LEFT 45234-3433-292 (FEDERAL BUILDING) 1364525: 00:06, 11 JANUARY 2084: #1 MET WITH THREE GUARDS AND HEADED TOWARD THE DEPARTMENT OF     TRUTH

At that moment, Kelly knew that Grant was probably planning to come get him...

open User/Talkto:Ryan Shiovara as #2 YOUR USER FLAG "CHAIRMAN" ALLOWS ACCESS TO FILE; FILE OPENED. put "Ryan I need you to get over here immediately, and I want you to come looking like Kelly Olsfield! Now!" > #2 as addend YOUR USER FLAG "CHAIRMAN" ALLOWS EDITING TO FILE. FILE AS BEEN CLOSED. close #0 YOU ARE NOW SUCCESSFULLY LOGGED OFF.

His friend Ryan Shiovara was one of the few members of the local Bureau who had been schooled in the arts of impersonation--a useful ability indeed when it came to sneakily discovering people attempting to form a revolutionary group.

He then waited for twelve minutes, after which a person appearing just like Kelly Olsfield stepped into his office. "Requested me?"

"Yeah, I did," said Kelly. "There are some revolutionaries that are probably going to be on my tail. Cover me, will ya?"

"All right." Ryan knew what to do. Meanwhile, Kelly exited to another place.

Ryan then turned to the door and opened it. Grant was there, along with three men carrying submachineguns.

Grant spoke first. "Hey chap! You didn't really think you would come here unseen, didja? Thanks fer showing us where the file was. Your changes are already being unmade by a lucky observer that'll get a raise. Yeah, helping arresting 'dangerous terrorists' can have its rewards. We won't change the pay raise to Jennings of course. We wouldn't know about your little scheme without him. Now..." he took a electrostick from his pocket and pressed the button. "Will ya come with me the easy way, or the harder, but more satisfying way? I'll take care of you. Personally."

Ryan glanced at the three bodyguards and gave up. There was no way he could hold his own against them.

After they had left, Kelly returned to his computer, and accessed the terminal.

open User/Flag:Kelly as #0 LOGIN REQUIRED FOR FLAG:KELLY >>kelly ************************* YOU HAVE SUCCESSFULLY LOGGED IN as #0. open User/History:Grant Keppler as #1 YOUR USER FLAG "CHAIRMAN" ALLOWS ACCESS TO FILE; FILE OPENED. FILE CONTENTS ARE EXTENDED. VIEW WHICH RANGE? 1364524+   1364524: 00:06, 11 JANUARY 2084: #1 LEFT 45234-3433-292 (FEDERAL BUILDING) 1364525: 00:06, 11 JANUARY 2084: #1 MET WITH THREE GUARDS AND HEADED TOWARD THE DEPARTMENT OF     TRUTH 1364525: 00:21, 11 JANUARY 2084: #1 ENTERED 45234-3423-692 (DEPARTMENT OF TRUTH) 1364526: 00:23, 11 JANUARY 2084: #1 AND THREE GUARDS ARRESTED KELLY OLSFIELD (REASON: DEMON-     STRATED TO BE A REVOLUTIONARY - ATTEMPTED TO ALTER INFORMATION      TO REFLECT AN UNTRUTH DAMAGING TO THE PARTY) 1364527: 00:25, 11 JANUARY 2084: #1, THREE GUARDS, AND KELLY OLSFIELD LEFT 45234-3423-692 (DEPARTMENT OF TRUTH) delete 1364526-1364527 YOUR USER FLAG "CHAIRMAN" ALLOWS YOU TO PERFORM ACTION WITHOUT LEAVING A LOG. LEAVE A LOG? no YOUR USER FLAG "CHAIRMAN" ALLOWS DELETION OF PART OF FILE. put "#1 found to be a revolutionary (reason: attempted to arrest the chairman of the department of truth without any reason" > #1  as specific (1364526, 00:24, 11 JANUARY 2084) YOUR USER FLAG "CHAIRMAN" ALLOWS YOU TO PERFORM ACTION WITHOUT LEAVING  A LOG. LEAVE A LOG? no YOUR USER FLAG "CHAIRMAN" ALLOWS EDITING TO FILE. open UsersForArrest as #2 YOUR USER FLAG "CHAIRMAN" ALLOWS ACCESS TO FILE; FILE OPENED. FILE CONTENTS ARE EXTENDED. VIEW WHICH RANGE? put "Arrest Grant Keppler (reason: view #1's history 1364526" > #2 as addend YOUR USER FLAG "CHAIRMAN" ALLOWS EDITING TO FILE. FILE AS BEEN CLOSED. close #0 YOU ARE NOW SUCCESSFULLY LOGGED OFF.

Chapter seven - Truth to be told
Ryan was tied to a chair now. They obviously weren't taking any chances. Grant was pacing around the badly lit room. There was only one lamp. It was very bright but the fact it was so close to Ryan's eyes didn't make it a good thing. Grant sighed and spoke, with a frown:

"I gave you every chance. You can't say I wasn't fair. I tried to show you just how much better we were making the world. But you...just...wouldn't...understand."

Ryan, knowing the part he was supposed to play, was indignant. "Helping the people? The party lied to the people. The party killed people. So that people like you could remain in power!"

"Heavens no! We don't kill people. If we did, do you think you would still be breathing?"

"And the disappearances?"

Grant smiled. It made Ryan remember when he first entered the Department of Truth.

"There were none. We made that up to test your loyalty. And you failed. Miserably."

"But then...how did my father..." queried Ryan, who having met up with Kelly since his appointment had begun to pick up on whatever Kelly thought he had better know when a time like this came.

Grant interrupted him before he could finish, "You father fled. He discovered that much more was happening than it seemed. He told you all he could and fled. Presumably to Russia or Germany. The party leaders hoped you were too young to remember. And it seemed they were right. But you didn't forget everything. You are different than most. They just do as they are told, you think about what we tell you. I had hoped a job as Chairman of Truth would make it easier for you to understand the...necessity of lies."

"They aren't necessary.", Ryan replied coldly, "You and the other members of the party only want to stay in power."

Grant shook his head, "So you prefer us to tell the truth? And use would that have? Why is the truth more valuable than well constructed lies? What is the truth anyway? Do you know it?"

Ryan didn't answer; in fact, he didn't know the answer. Seeing his silence Grant smiled and said: "That's what I thought. Now, on to the festivities."

Ryan gasped in horror. "But wait! I'm NOT Kelly! I'm Ryan!!!..."

"Yeah, yeah, sure you are, as if we're going to believe that. Who wouldn't say that he wasn't Kelly, when threatened with torture? No, you'll just have to bear it through..."

During three days Ryan was subjected to torture. The strong light on his face stopped him of sleeping, putrid smells made it horrible to breath and loud Hip-Hop music banged his ears until he was nearly deaf. Three days later Grant entered the room again.

Then, Ryan heard heavy steps entering the room. "Now, chap, this fellow here is mister H. He'll be your torturer today. Mister H here will make your life a even greater miserable hell."

Ryan heard a sound of metal being dragged on metal.

"Mister H will use a big mallet to pound your legs a little, so don't worry. It will hurt. A lot." Ryan suddenly got wide eyed. But the light was too bright, he couldn't see "mister H".

"No please, no!", Grant cackled softly and said: "You remember that old cartoon with wolf and the shepherd dog? T¨he one they beat the hell off each other but when their shift ended they immediately stopped and go to a drink? Well, it's like this, I like you Kelly, but it's nothing personal. It's my job."

Ryan then heard a grunt and screams: "NO! Please no! Do it to Julia!" and passed out.

Grant then commented with "mister H", a man with one meter and half that worked as his secretary: "Julia? Who's that?"

"Dunno boss. Guess we overdid it.", Grant looked at Ryan and smiled... "I guess. Well, send him to the reeducation department."

Just then a trio of guards came up to Grant and Mister H, their three submachine guns trained on Grant's face. "You're under arrest," one of them said.

Grant whirled around, unbelieving. "By who?"

"As a suspect, you have no right to ask any questions. You will come with us and do so immediately." The guard handcuffed Grant and took him away, and another went along with them.

The third pointed at Ryan, but looked at Mister H. "As this person has been arrested by a suspect, he actually has no reason to remain in prison. Set him free."

Mister H obeyed, and let Ryan out. Ryan stumbled out of his cell, still half-stunned, and went to access a nearby prison-complex terminal.

Meanwhile, the two guards tossed Grant into just as obscure a prison cell. Kelly seemed to be waiting; as soon as Grant was behind bars, Kelly came from behind a corner, on the free side of the bars. Grant could only look at him with amazement. Only then did he realize that he had been fooled by Ryan, that impersonator.

"You've grossly underestimated the power of the position of the Chairman of the Department of Truth," Kelly began matter-of-factly. "As Chairman, I not only have access to all information on and off the Net, but I can also alter the truth, and simultaneously not leave behind any cybernetic footprints. You, as first secretary of the Federal Department, never knew that. In today's world, with the great degree of informational accessibility and dependence extant in this world, my position is the most powerful, and it just happens that you don't know it, because all prior chairmen of the truth department have been able to keep their powers secret. Do you know how you landed here? Precisely because you tried to intrude on my turf. Now, I have things to do, and you can't do anything, and all the people in this world who do matter have agreed with my claim, precisely because they can't refute it. It's time for farewell.

"Never no one here."

And with that, the form of Kelly vanished into the dark halls from whence he had come.

Chapter eight - Rumblings of War
"...That's right Jason, some kind of electromagnetic-pulse device exploded here, at the HQ of London's anti-terrorist police. One of the big ones. All the computers were fried. Thousands of files on terrorists are completely lost, since the back-up outlet in Yorkshire was destroyed in a similar attack only one hour before this one. The police suspects both incidents are related. No terrorist group has declared responsibility for the action, until now, but the police suspects a israeli group to be the responsible for the attack."

Harriet was obviously a little distraught. Her hair was uncombed and her clothes somewhat dirty. Figures, she had had a lot of bad news this week. The camera turned back to Jason Flack, the anchor.

"A recent notice just reached me. Apparently the french have initiated a revolution. They desire to be an independent country again. As if they had the right. The Great Guv'nor has already recalled troops from Mongolia to deal with the french situation. According to local sources, they claim to want "Liberte ! Egalite ! Vérité ! Ou La Mort !" which, again, according to sources, mean that they desire the complete obliteration of all countries in the British Commonwealth.

Rumors that this recent uprising has something to do with a computer virus that randomly writes sentences in random pages on the internet are reportedly unfounded. The messages are reportedly fakes. Unfortunately the site the government put up to explain the falsehoods was shut down due to recent vandalism." a man entered the room and gave Jason a note. Jason quickly read it and said: "The great Guv'nor has an important message to the nation."

The office of sir Howard Keppler. He looked older somehow. The last few days were probably hell to him. He managed to say, in a voice that sounded strong: "People of the british commonwealth. French, or otherwise. This is not a time for dissension. Our country has been attacked by terrorists on many fronts. We must unite and strike with the hammer of law on to these criminals! If you have any information to give about these terrorists. A reward will be given if you give the information to us.

They claim they tell the truth. They claim they'll bring freedom. They claim to give equality. But we all know what they mean by equality, don't we? Communism!", it seemed the government was resorting to old fears to tackle this new situation. "And we know what they mean by truth, don't we? Their truth! And, of course we know what they mean by freedom, right? Their 'Freedom', is, in fact...", Kelly turned the TV set off. Everything had gone according to the plan.

It was only a matter of time.

For Kelly alone knew at least this little bit of truth: that all these files had been made in triplicate, so that there was actually one more copy, one that still existed in the Net, invisible to all except the Chairman of Truth. He alone knew this information, which meant that now, whatever he claimed, no one could oppose him when it came to determining the validity of his "truths", however untrue they may be.

Five days ago, Grant Kepler had been expelled from the inner circle of the Party for attempting to remove Kelly from his position as the Chairman of the Department of Truth--a lie which Kelly had presented, and which the others could not refute. Indeed, before long Kelly had managed to use his position to find out just how the various department heads worked together, and who won political battles in the past. It turned out that all of these political battles had been fought in secret, and the populace only knew the outcome when the new ruler was solidly in control. And if he were to bring about the Revelation of Truth, as he thought of it in his mind, then he would first have to topple the state:


 * Great Guv'nor - actually a figurehead position, held by Harold Kepler
 * Department of Truth - in charge of truths and histories, held by Kelly Olsfield
 * Department of Labor - in charge of assigning positions and jobs, held by Linda Fox
 * Department of Communication - in charge of the Net and conversations, held by Brian Smith
 * Department of Defense - in charge of the military, held by Earl Montgomery
 * Department of the Treasury - in charge of getting funds where they need to go, held by Lyon West
 * Department of the State - in charge of various operations, held by Grant Kepler, then Kyle Winston
 * Department of the Interior - in charge of making sure everything runs smoothly, held by George Minster
 * Department of Energy - in charge of providing electricity, held by Jet Roswell
 * Department of Education - in charge of education and brainwashing, held by Almond Sirith
 * Department of Justice - in charge of determining guiltiness, held by Rebecca Nurse
 * Department of Transportation - in charge of transport of goods, held by Peter Osborne
 * Department of Commerce - in charge of market regulation, held by Increase Mather

And Kelly knew very well which position he wanted.

open User/Flag:Kelly as #0 LOGIN REQUIRED FOR FLAG:KELLY >>kelly ************************* YOU HAVE SUCCESSFULLY LOGGED IN as #0. open SalutatorianLog as #1 YOUR USER FLAG "CHAIRMAN" ALLOWS ACCESS TO FILE; FILE OPENED. ADD WHICH USER? >>Yllek ************************* YOUR USER FLAG "CHAIRMAN" ALLOWS ACTION; ACTION COMPLETE. NEW USER:YLLEK HAS BEEN REGISTERED. YOUR USER FLAG "CHAIRMAN" ALLOWS YOU TO NOT LEAVE A LOG. LEAVE A LOG? no ACTION PERFORMED WITHOUT LEAVING A LOG. close #1 FILE CLOSED. open User/History:Yllek as #1 YOUR USER FLAG "CHAIRMAN" ALLOWS ACCESS TO FILE; FILE OPENED. THE FILE IS EMPTY. hide file YOUR USER FLAG "CHAIRMAN" ALLOWS ACTION; ACTION COMPLETE. YOUR USER FLAG "CHAIRMAN" ALLOWS YOU TO NOT LEAVE A LOG. LEAVE A LOG? no ACTION PERFORMED WITHOUT LEAVING A LOG. close #1 FILE CLOSED. open BureaucratLog as #1 YOUR USER FLAG "CHAIRMAN" ALLOWS ACCESS TO FILE; FILE OPENED. WHAT FLAGS DO YOU WISH TO ADD/REMOVE? add chairman flag to User:Yllek YOUR USER FLAG "CHAIRMAN" ALLOWS ACTION; ACTION COMPLETE. YOUR USER FLAG "CHAIRMAN" ALLOWS YOU TO NOT LEAVE A LOG. LEAVE A LOG? no ACTION PERFORMED WITHOUT LEAVING A LOG. close #0 YOU HAVE SUCCESSFULLY LOGGED OFF.

Kelly counted on his sock-puppet account "User:Yllek" to be a lifeline for him later on.

Chapter nine - First Strike
Now it was time for him to move against one of those departments...

open User/Flag:Kelly as #0 LOGIN REQUIRED FOR FLAG:KELLY >>kelly ************************* YOU HAVE SUCCESSFULLY LOGGED IN as #0. open Treasury as #1 YOUR USER FLAG "CHAIRMAN" ALLOWS ACCESS TO FILE; FILE OPENED. THIS YEAR'S EXPECTED TREASURY REVENUE: $120,498,342,126 THIS YEAR'S EXPECTED TREASURY EXPENDITURE: $117,343,838,532 WHICH SUBPAGE DO YOU WISH TO VIEW? military expenditure THIS YEAR'S EXPECTED MILITARY EXPENDITURE: $25,452,187,616 MILITARY EQUIPMENT EXPENDITURE: $19,125,380,473 MILITARY PERSONNEL EXPENDITURE: $4,987,243,454 MILITARY REPAIRS EXPENDITURE: $1,234,712,003 MILITARY MISC EXPENDITURE: $104,851,686 put "$27,184,209,376" > #1 as military equipment expenditure YOUR USER FLAG "CHAIRMAN" ALLOWS EDITING TO FILE. YOUR USER FLAG "CHAIRMAN" ALLOWS YOU TO NOT LEAVE A LOG. LEAVE A LOG? no ACTION PERFORMED WITHOUT LEAVING A LOG. close #1 FILE CLOSED. open User:Talkto/Lyon West as #1 YOUR USER FLAG "CHAIRMAN" ALLOWS ACCESS TO FILE; FILE OPENED. put "Chairman West, the military books don't balance. Maybe it's about time you requested that the chairman of the Department of the Military  be removed from his position for being an incompetent bureaucrat." > #1 as addend YOUR USER FLAG "CHAIRMAN" ALLOWS EDITING TO FILE. YOUR USER FLAG "CHAIRMAN" ALLOWS YOU TO NOT LEAVE A LOG. LEAVE A LOG? yes ACTION PERFORMED WITH LEAVING A LOG. close #0 YOU HAVE SUCCESSFULLY LOGGED OFF.

The next day, Kelly arrived at the great hall of the Federal Building, meeting with the other chairmen of England's various departments--

"Greetings, Linda! You know what this meeting is for?"

The lady turned around and, upon seeing Kelly, beamed with a beautiful smile. "Good day to you too, Kelly. And yes, I do know what this meeting is about, since it concerns what my department is all about--which happens quite often."

"Please sit down, everyone," said Harold Kepler, slamming his hammer on the table in the fashion of the judges of long ago. Since Harold Kepler was the "Great Gov'nor", he was in charge of summoning these meetings, though of course he couldn't really affect exactly what happened at the meetings and anything that resulted in, or were the results of, the meetings.

The chairmen sat down on a long, glass, oval table in the middle of the hall. The room was beautiful, exquisitely decorated, and showed a brilliant taste--it was after all Harold Kepler's job to ensure that the media coverage of places like this on such important meetings conveyed a sense of wonder to the average viewer.

There were several media crews in the background, obtaining camera feeds from above the oval table to thus disturb the proceedings as little as possible.

Kelly saw, from the corner of his eye while seated at the oval table, that Chairman Fox glanced at the Chairman of the Department of Defence, Chairman Montgomery, with suspicion, though only for a moment. Then the proceedings began.

"Chairman Montgomery, I suppose that you realize that you have spent far more money than that which you have been allotted by the Chairman of the Treasury?"

Instantly, Earl Montgomery knew something was wrong. "No, I was not aware of it, and I believe that someone sitting around this oval table right now was responsible for this utter lie--" He brought out a revolver from below the table, but before he could fire at anyone, he was hit by a guard's tranquilizer, and collapsed. The guards then took him away.

"I have proof that there indeed has been an instance of incorrect use of funds by the Department of Defense," Kelly declared soon afterward. He then produced a report from his desk-computer, which then showed up on the desk-computers of all of the other chairmen at the meeting. "...He has spent nearly seven billion dollars more than he should have," Kelly summed up.

The others, convinced by Kelly's clear logic, nodded consent.

"Chairman Fox," continued Harold Kepler. "Have you chosen a replacement?"

"Yes I have," replied the lady. She turned to the guards. "I introduce to you, the new Chairman of Defense, Suth Andover!" Amidst a wild applause, Mr. Andover entered the hall and was coroned the next Chairman. Soon afterwards, the festivities over, the meeting came to a close.

As they were leaving, Kelly approached Chairman West (the Chairman of the Treasury). "Good thing I spotted that problem, now, wasn't it?"

"Sure was, pal. If you hadn't found it, I would have been in grave trouble. You have anything you need help with?"

"Nah, not really. Just watch my back, will you?"

"Sure do," replied Chairman West rather happily.

Kelly then went over to Linda as they walked out onto the street below. "Interesting, wasn't it?"

"Of course!" Linda stated rather loudly. Then, in a whisper, she told him, "I liked that move. Suth is my friend, and I'll tell him that you are a friend, too. It was a good move for us both."

"Yeah, it was," replied Kelly. Then he found himself right next to Suth (more appropriately, Chairman Andover). "I was watching that meeting before I came in," Suth said. "Thanks, pal. Tell me if you need any help."