Polar Express spoof

A parody of the film The Polar Express, starring Tom Hanks (in this version, Ham Shanks). Contributions Welcome!

Darkness.

Fade to title.

Fade to scene of dark, night winter sky. Snow is falling.

Narrator (Ham Shanks): One Christmas Eve many years ago, I was lying in bed wondering if Santa was going to bring me that new Rocket-Propelled Grenade Sled 2000 that I had asked for.

Pan in to Hero Boy's bedroom window. Hero Boy is lying in bed, looking up at the cieling.

Hero Boy: Oh boy, just think of the fun I'll have if I get that Rocket-Propelled Grenade Sled 2000! I'll tear up the lawn, and the neighbor's lawn and their neighbor's lawn with it! Shucks, I might just tear up...

Parents' voices outside bedroom door: Is he asleep yet?

Boy quickly turns over and pretends to be asleep.

Dad and Mom come into the room to tuck him in.

Dad: Better get some sleep, son! Santa's not gonna come 'till you're asleep!

Hero Boy (under breath): I hope the FBI knows that he's illegally keeping surveillance cameras in people's homes.