Star Infinity Episode 2: When Tholians Attack

Enterprise headed for Pluto at one quarter ultraimpulse. Tubman's communications console beeped. Picard-Kirk panicked.

PICARD-KIRK: If it is a distress call from ships trapped in the Nexus, tell them to hail someone else. Enterprise-B this is not.

AHAB: The Nexus will not be here for another eight years, you dolt!

Picard-Kirk gave Captain Ahab a dirty look and then looked at Tubman.

PICARD-KIRK: Who is it Miss Tubman?

TUBMAN: The Tholians, Sir.

STEPHEN: The Tholians. . . ?

PICARD-KIRK: Put them on the viewscreen.

TUBMAN: Hailing frequencies open, Admiral.

A Tholian appeared on Enterprise's viewscreen.

THOLIAN: This is Commander Tsyhtema of the Tholian Assembly. Prepare for your destruction!

GALILEO: Hey, what gives? Enterprise-B never encountered Tholians on her maiden voyage.

TSYHTEMA: Ah, you forget Star Trek Generations - Beyond the Nexus for the Nintendo Game Boy.

PICARD-KIRK: Video games are non-canonical, and you know it!

TSYHTEMA: This parody is also non-canonical, so if I wish to draw from other non-canon Trek sources, I can. Take that!

The viewscreen switched back to the view of Tsyhtema's fleet.

<p style="margin-left: 40px">PICARD-KIRK: Shit, the bastard is right. Red alert, arm weapons, raise shields, and deploy armor!

<p style="margin-left: 40px">YELCHIN: We have no armor, Sir.

<p style="margin-left: 40px">PICARD-KIRK: Do not tell me, Tuesday?

<p style="margin-left: 40px">AHAB: No, never, Starfleet abandoned armor after hollidanium replaced tritanium as the chief metal used in starship hulls.