Fortunately unfortunately/5CountDown

Radix
Ten people stood.

First Uneven Non Prime
Unfortunately one of them died. Fortunately this increased the area each person had by 1/9. Unfortunately, the ground was slowly being consumed by a ever growing nanobot swarm! Fortunately this was all relative so the amount of space loss was quite negligible, leading their 1/9 to become 10000/89999. Unfortunately this didn't stop the nanobots, and since the numbers of nanobots increased exponentially, soon they would devour all the 9/9s. Fortunately the nanobots constructed more land, thus creating a limit so that they could never devour all of their 9/9s. Unfortunately, in their mindless quest to create more ground, the nanobots would soon consume the nine remaining people. Fortunately the nanobots tracked the genetic information and so while devouring the nine people and the one dead person, they created more so that they never consumed all the people. Unfortunately, a malfunction in the nanobots circuits made them fuse the genetic material of the people and create a good looking hermaphrodite blondie with brown streaks, a IQ of 80 and six fingers on each foot, the nanobots then started to follow a programation loop and consume and recreate themselves ad infinitum.

23
Fortunately the excess was left so that by the end of a really long time, the nanobots reconfigured back into eight people, and two dead people. Unfortunately, at least, that was what they would do if they weren't stuck in a programming loop. Fortunately nanobots are programmed and were stuck in a loop, and when they reconfigured back to the state before they began configuring(only leaving the excess as a rotting body), eight people were left to stand in peace. Unfortunately, the eight people were getting tired from so much time standing around. Fortunately, they were members of the Con'gon'goofel clan, so they were more then apt to standing motionless for a period of time. Unfortunately, this also meant that they were extremely allergic to one another, and they had little space to move around. Fortunately the allergies, though relatively extreme, were not lethal. Unfortunately, the allergy involved red spots, nausea, scratching and sneezing, making standing up much harder. Fortunately, after such a long time, they all decided to sit on the eight chairs nearby. Unfortunately there were really only 7 chairs, and so one died by sitting on nothing and being sucked into the Nzone. Fortunately, the dead do not depart too hastily, and a raven crowed and a man in black came a' walkin'. Unfortunately the raven traded the life for another, so the net amount of dead people was the same.

Lucky
Fortunately, the raven was from a mirror universe, so, when it tried to kill another person, it, instead, transformed him (Or her) in a nigh-omnipotent superhero, and, disappointed, the raven wandered back to the nightly plutonian shore (quoth the raven, "Nevermore!"). Unfortunately, one of the men yelled "Be that word our sign of parting, Bird or Fiend!" as the Raven disappeared; however, as he yelled his balanced dropped on that precipice so high, so hard; he fell hard and fast and was gone in a flash; to that place far down within the dim west where all the good and the bad and the worst and the best have gone to their eternal rest.

Dinner
Fortunately the six remaining had a nice meal for dinner. Unfortunately, one of the six didn't like the dinner and annoyed the other ones with speaking badly and in a completely inappropriate language about it. Fortunately the language was inappropriate only by formal view, so it wasn't all that foul. Unfortunately, in this realm you literally ate your words, hence the seventh person ate nothing but nonsense. Fortunately there was no nonsense to be eaten since there was not seventh person, there was something to eat though. Unfortunately, this "something to eat" was largely composed of raw rabbit ribs. Fortunately raw rabbit ribs were quiet delicious, especially the nutritious marrow. Unfortunately, everyone that ate the raw meat contracted cysticercosis. Fortunately only one person got a fatal case.

Half Dead
Unfortunately the other five still got incredibly sick. Fortunately, one of them was a doctor. Unfortunately the doctor didn't have the needed medical drugs for curing the illness. Fortunately nature eventually led its path and they eventually all got better. Unfortunately, some greater force decided that they all can't feel better and made three of them break all their limbs. Fortunately they were all just sitting around, so they didn't care much about the loss. Unfortunately, after some time they felt the need for going to the toilet, which made them suddenly care very much about the loss. Fortunately, Some Greater Force decided that it wouldn't like to see all those grown people peeing themselves, fixed their bones and created a bathroom out of thin air. Unfortunately, no one wants to see anyone using bathrooms made of thin air, so they decided not to use it.

Half Live
Fortunately, while very pissed at this, Some conceded a bathroom made of thick air to the whiny bastards. Unfortunately piping wasn't made. Fortunately, the now not-crippled people didn't know that, and the ground of that particular location was very permeable. Unfortunately this meant that as soon as the first person who entered the room, he fell through the floor.

Rule of 3
Fortunately this hardened up the soil.