The Three Stooges on the Titanic

'''This is an idea for a Three Stooges film. If someone can come up with a funnier title, feel free to move it.'''

Darkness, then start playing "Three Blind Mice".

Credits.

Fade to Moe, Curly and Larry sitting in the cabin of Captain Edward Smith.

Smith: So you gentlemen want the job of helmsmen, eh?

Moe: Oh yeah, we could do it, couldn't we boys!

Curly: Sure! I'd love to wear a helmet! Nyuk nyuk nyuk...OOH! (Moe pokes him in the eyes)

Smith: Well, you seem to be pretty adept fellows. I guess you can have the job.

Moe: Oh yes! Thank you Captain!

Curly: When do we get our helmets?

Moe grabs his nose and pounds on it. BEEP BEEP!

Moe: We're not wearin' helmets, you imbecile. We wear hats! We'll be steerin' the ship! Got it?

Curly: Sure! You steer and I'll work the gas pedal! Nyuk nyuk nyuk!

Moe: See this? (He holds out his fist)

Curly: Yeah, it's a fist! Can you steer with it?

Moe pounds on his fist with his other hand. It flies around and hits Curly in the head. BONK!

Curly: OOOH!

Moe: Now listen here, you knucklehead. If you mess up, I'll dunk you into the Atlantic myself!

Larry: Who works the brakes?

Moe lines the two up and slaps them across the face both at once.

Moe: This isn't a car, you imbeciles! Now here's what's gonna happen: Curly, you'll be the lookout. Larry will man the telegraph, and I'll take the wheel!

Curly: LOOKOUT!

Moe turns around and sees nothing.

Curly: I'm supposed to be the "lookout"! Nyuk nyuk nyuk..OOW! (Moe pokes him in the eyes again)

Moe: It means you look ahead of the ship to see if there are any icebergs or anything we might hit. Now do you knuckleheads think you can handle all that??

Larry: Sure, I can handle the telegraph! Can I call my Aunt Bertha on it? OOW! (Moe grabs him by the hair)

Moe: I'll use it to report to the captain if you start acting stupid!

Smith: Well gentlemen, we must be making ready to leave. You can get up on deck right now and begin your assigment!

All three at once: Yes sir!

Curly: Wait a second. What happens if we see an iceberg?

Smith: Well, if you see it while we're still far enough away you can signal to Moe and he'll steer us away!

Curly: Ooh! That means we get to use smoke signals! Nyuk nyuk nyuk...OOW!