King Kong Spoof/1

This script is not a parody of the 1931 film, but rather a parody of the 2005 remake, although it will incorporate elements from the original one, such as the plesiosaur and pteradactyl fight.

Darkness.

Fade to title.

Ominous music plays, then fade to a scene of Depression-era New York City.

Begin playing "I'm Stuck at the Bottom of the World."

We see various scenes of poor people standing in bread lines. Two dirty loafers in the street are fighting over something. A policeman breaks it up.

Policeman: What the heck is goin' on here?

Man #1: This guy stole my golden ticket!

Policeman: Golden ticket?

Man #1: Yeah! You know, the ones Willy Wonka's been sending out! I just got lucky enough to find one, and this dirty ******* has to come by and grab it!

Man #2: That was my ticket, and you know it!

Man #1: Oh no it wasn't! I found it! I bought the "Wonka's Grudge-Yellow Disgust" bar! It's mine!

The two begin fighting again. The policeman beats both of them on the head, then he takes the golden ticket.

Policeman: All right! Here's how we'll do this! Whichever of you can catch me first, gets the ticket!

He runs off. The two men look at each other, than take off after him.

Cut to a scene inside a theater. We see a comedy being acted out on the stage. Several dirty loafers have gathered to watch. Suddenly, one of the actors accidentally pokes the other in the eyes. The other one yells and jumps on him. The two begin fighting all over the stage. Chaos erupts; soon, furniture is being turned over and the scenery falls over on the actors. The curtain falls. The crowd is keeling over with laughter.

Cut to a scene behind stage. The actors are all cleaning up the mess, and a bruised director is scene exiting the theater. He is sneezing grossly. Ann Darrow follows him.

Ann: Are you all right?

Director: Oh yeah, just a little sinusitis. It's&mdash;it's&mdash;IT's&mdashACHOOOOO!!!

He sneezes all over Ann. She wipes the snot off of her face.

Ann: Thanks a lot.

Director: Sorry, I couldn't stop it. Well, I've gotta get home. I'll see ya later.

Ann: Hey, have you had anything to eat lately?

Director: Yeah, I just ate a big "King Kong" sundae over at the local ice cream parlor.

Ann: You've got to eat something other than ice cream. Why don't we go out to a good restaurant tonight?

Director: You're right. Let's try Hooters!