Mothers Group



Mothers Group

Suggested music Mother by Scomber



Synopsis: Comic sketch about the trials and tribulations of a group of women, united only by their family status. three female with an optional male.

Characters: (all childbearing age - fifteen to fifty)

Tranda – Pale, horsey, plummy and very rich

Carita- Intelligent, plain, solid and well presented

Uma- Slender, Bronze, Blonde, Good looking, the youngest

Buffin (Optional) - a teenage male

Act one – The Swimming Lesson - interior, day, municipal pool

Very empty set – perhaps a garden background from another play.

Lights up with Tranda and Carita on stage. Both are wearing a swimming costume. Depending on the modesty of the cast – full-body-sun-suit or board shorts coupled with bandeau or halter-neck top is fine. Even neck to knee frilly britches will work, as long as it looks entirely aquatic. Flippers and goggles are ideal and add to the humour. Both carry a plastic baby doll, also wearing something that suggests a swimming lesson, a pair of plastic pilcher pants at the least. There is no water in sight – the idea is to suggest they are standing in waist deep water by their actions. Both are in the pool, waiting for the lesson to start.

Carita: (looking closely at Tranda's 'baby') It was a difficult birth, wasn't it.

Tranda: How do you mean?

Carita: The kid looks a bit ...squashed.

Tranda: Speak for yourself!...Eight hours, from nought to nappies. This little one was quicker than yours!

Carita: Too quick perhaps. I mean, fast births sometimes don't give them time to swivel as they come though.

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">Tranda: (alarmed) Don't talk like that! Swivel? You're giving me a camel burn just thinking about it. (pause) Hey listen, who are we going to get, do you reckon?

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">Carita: Get who? Uma said she would be late.

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">Tranda: (jealous) Give you a ring, did she? (quickly changing subject) no, I meant the teacher. Who do you think we will get this time? My neighbour said the teachers here are pretty useless. I mean, I learned how to swim here and I can barely stay afloat.

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">enter Uma - also wearing togs and carrying a 'baby'

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">Uma: Hello you two.

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">Carita and Tranda: (together) Hi there!

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">Uma: You wll never believe what just happened.

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">Tranda: When you ope a sentence like that, I have a feeling the outcome is not good.

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">Carita: Sounds like a long story. Hopefuly our teacher will be here soon, so you had better tell us, What happened?

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">Uma: Well, that;s two things I need to tell you then?

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">Carita and Tranda together); Uh huh?

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">Uma: Well where do I start. firstly, I guess I had better tell you that my baby sitter fell through at the last minute.

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">Tranda: Your niece?

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">Uma: Well not actually fell through, so much as failed to keep an appointment I had yet to make.

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">Carita: Uma, you are not making any sense, you are SUPPOSED to be here with your baby, why on earth would you need a baby sitter?

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">Uma: (evasive) Ah ! Well ! That brings me to the point. I am sure you will both like this part, but somehow I am not sure. The next thing you should know is that I am going to be your swim instructor today.

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">Carita: Can I have my money back?

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">Tranda: (to Carita - disapproving) Whoah there girl ! (long pause) We think it's just fabulous, don't we?

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">Carita: (uncertainly) OK (recovering) I think I'm happy about it...I am happy about it. OK, sorry, I was just a bit shocked. I'm over it now. I'm good. I'm cool...

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">Tranda: OK, what do we do? You're the instructor, but why didn;t you just tekk us? We could have had private lessons whenever we felt like if we had known you would be the trainer. You must have realized you would be teaching us two?

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">Uma: Yes. I had it on the calender butthe months are all different shapes on my calender, and I just got confused. I won't be doing it all the time. My baby is the oldest of the three, I don;t know, I just realized it would be us three yesterday and then it was to late to change anything.

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">Carita: All right ! All right ! We can cope with this just fine, In a way I am glad irt's you, So what do we do?

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">Uma: First of all, we sing the welcome song, you know it, just join in with baby like this.

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">Brings baby forward from her hip and sways the baby back and forwards in the 'water' as she sings.

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">Uma, Carita and Tranda (together sing) I'll tell you what my name is/ I wonder if you know/ My name is baby Uma, hello hello hello/ I'l tell you what my name is, I wonder if you know/ my name is baby Carita/ hello hello hello/ I'l tell you what my name is, I wonder if you know/ my name is baby Tranda/ hello hello hello.

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">Suggested plot – the instructor turns out to be Uma, who is very sweet and gorgeous too, but thick as a post and giving swimming lessons to make ends meet, she was late as she failed to arrange a baby sitter and just decides to bring the baby and join in the lesson as instructor and friend to the other two.

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">There is some dialogue around a teenage lad, who need not appear but can be off-stage unseen while they talk about him. He distracts Tranda and Uma while Carita is aghast and righteous at their unrepentant interest in his undressing to swim. Tranda gets a few word to him, while Uma reveals he is a cast-off with whom she has lost interest. Tranda is distracted enough to upset her baby and the three decide to get together and drown their sorrows with tea and home baking. Carita and Tranda discover their husbands share an enthusiasm for big plans and fast money and they gradually realize how crooked they might be.

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">Uma: (to Tranda) Done a pooh, have we, by the smell?

scene two
<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">Act two - morning tea - interior, day, round table ( patio or kitchen at Caritas house)

When he said he was giving himself to me, I didn't think he meant 'on loan'.

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">There is a possible link between other works by the same author Crayfish

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">[[Fading Things ]] toward a two act dialogue