User blog:JWSchmidt/False Start

Two months ago I decided to try using Observer Gohrlay's death as the "hook" for The Start of Eternity. Since that time, the Gohrlay character has become more substantial and harder to kill. In keeping with Asimov's dictum, "Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent" and the Rules of Intervention, I realized that the crafty Orbho Anagro would not actually kill Gohrlay.

Since Gohrlay does not die, it seems like a dirty trick to first make the reader believe that Gohrlay will die and then just turn around and say: nah, she didn't really die.

I've started thinking about a new "hook" for the story. The first alternative that comes to mind is to start the story with Gohrlay visiting Earth. One way that a trip to Earth could be made more interesting would be to not immediately tell the reader the name of the planet. Gohrlay would arrive on Earth and observe the primitive humans who live on Earth at that time. Only slowly would it be revealed to the reader that the events are on Earth, possible only when the Overseers step in and accuse Gohrlay of her crimes.

So, the first chapter could be a teaser showing Gohrlay trying to help earthlings, but being prevented from doing so. While on Earth, Gohrlat obtains evidence that genes have been transferred from the Moon to Earth. The Second chapter could show Gohrlay trying to obtain evidence to support her belief that Overseers are violating the Rules of Observation. Again, Gohrlay is caught by the Overseers, but this time large parts of her memory are disrupted.

Chapter three could then be The Last Gardener, followed by Gohrlay's diary and then what is now in Chapter Zero. Such a sequence would be a more linear description of key events in Gohrlay's life.