Coincidence! I swear

Introduction
It’s a quite known fact, that coincidences can be very amusing. Coincidences are what happen when a variable set of…variables, by chance, fate, karma or divine intervention just happen to combine in such a way that hilarity ensues.

For example, when Jett Ngine, the fabled space adventurer was traveling in the long-abandoned filthy sewers of the long-abandoned ancient forgotten city of Zo, he, by chance, fate, karma or divine intervention, met a group assassins that were waiting for him.

Apparently those assassins had set up traps along Jett’s entire journey, that him, by chance, fate, karma or divine intervention had eluded unknowingly. These assassins did not wish to discuss details though, so they politely declared they would go straight to business, by aiming their mark XXX electric submachine plasma blasters at Jett’s assistant’s (Hungh) chest.

But, of course, by chance, fate, karma or divine intervention, a rip in space-time continuum was opened, that sucked the blast and the assistant to different, but interesting points of the space-time continuum. The blast was sent to the distant past of earth, exploding some president’s brains out, and disappearing without a trace, as this kind of plasma likes to do. This prompted the authorities of the time to create some ludicrulous theory that strangely didn’t involve rips in time-space continuum, but no one believed them anyway.

The assistant was sent seven days in the past, in the exact place he needed to be in order to save himself and his boss from a group of thirty-four semi-fatal accidents, appearing behind the assassins (visibly seven days older), kicking their asses with newly learned kung fu tricks, kissing a girl that was just passing by, and generally stealing the scene.

This whole set of events can be easily explained by a generally accepted theory that states that (As told by my extremely incredibly advanced space time based quantum history bio chemical psy physics professor):

“The counter probability law, or the “Deus Ex Machina law” states that: ‘In any given scenario, after all the math is said and done, the possible outcome with the least mathematical probability of happening is usually the one that most likely will happen.’

An wild example: let’s say you face a group of assassins in the long-abandoned filthy sewers of the long-abandoned ancient forgotten city of Zo, that, by chance, fate, karma or divine intervention, were waiting for you. The chances are that, if the aim their mark XXX electric submachine plasma blasters at your assistant, and fire, they’ll have about 99.9999999999999999999999999999999901% chance of killing him.

While the chance of a rip in space-time continuum, by chance, fate, karma or divine intervention, being opened, that sucks the blast and the assistant to different, but interesting points of the space-time continuum, the blast being sent to the distant past of earth, exploding some president’s brains out, and disappearing without a trace, as this kind of plasma likes to do, and then the assistant being sent seven days in the past, in the exact place he needed to be in order to save himself and you from a group of thirty-four semi-fatal accidents, appearing behind the assassins (visibly seven days older), kicking their asses with newly learned kung fu tricks, kissing a girl that was just passing by, and generally stealing the scene, is insignificant.

Therefore, there is a greater probability that this exact same thing would happen, if you were ever faced with such a scenario. Of course, the chances of the exact same scenario being even remotely possible are so small, that they are not even writable with our numerical system.”

Yes, he was a great man; my professor, too bad Jett never paid attention to his classes.

The Hu'nan's
category Short Stories