Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope spoof

A long time ago, in a far away land...no wait, it's "A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away"...

Title.

Opening crawl: It is a period of Civil War. No, we're not talking about the American Civil War; geez! Haven't you been paying attention? The Star Wars galaxy is in a state of civil war! Boy, you sure are a lousy...oh well, on with the crawl. Anyway, the galaxy is in a state of civil war, with the Johnny Rebs on one side...I mean, the rebels on one side trying to defeat the nasty ole' Empire, and the Empire on the other side ATTEMPTING TO SQUELCH ALL RESISTANCE TO HER HEINOUS, DIABOLICAL PLANS TO RULE THE UNIVERSE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHA!!!!! Make a note of this, kids. It's VERY IMPORTANT. Anyway, a diplomatic ship (or a ship disguised as one) has stolen the plans for the Empire's terrible weapon of mass destruction, the DEATH STAR, A MASSIVE SPACE STATION WITH THE TERRIBLE POWER TO ELIMINATE AN ENTIRE PLANET!!! AAAAAUUUUGGGHHH!!!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

The ship is being followed closely by an Imperial Star Cruiser. Yeah, the one Lord Vader uses as a cruise ship. He's on vacation. Or at least he was, until they had to follow the ship that had their awful plans! Now Vader is extremely angry! So watch closely, folks, as the plot unfolds...

Words fade from view, and then we see the Untantive V flying overhead, followed by an Imperial Star Cruiser (which resembles the SS Poseidon with wings and rocket boosters). The two ships are firing chocolate syrup at one another. Suddenly, one of the Star Cruiser's streams hits the midsection of the Untantive, causing it to explode.

Cut to inside the ship. C-4PO and R2-C2 are standing in one of the ship's corridors, rebel soldiers lining up alongside.

C-4PO: Dang it! They're sucking us in!