An Alien Wife committed Adultery and tricked her Husband.

''The leader of a creative writing group that I go to offline suggested that I could rewrite The Miller's Tale by Geoffrey Chaucer but with the characters aliens. I beg to apologize in advance that some parts of this story are in extremely bad taste. None of that is my fault, it’s the way Chaucer wrote it and Chaucer is one of the most respected poets in the English language. Horribowitchias is a planet round an unassuming little sun in the neighbourhood of the star Betelgeuse. You’ve guessed it, the planet is inhabited and you’ve guessed that too, the inhabitants are called Elephantians. ''

Now there was this aging carpenter called Jambogoran, standing angrily on three of his legs. That took quite a bit of effort as Elephantians are extremely heavy and need all four legs to stand comfortably. With his fourth foot Jambogoran steadied a large plank of wood, wrapping many long tendrils that grew out of his leg round the wood and he held in his trunk a power saw that he used to cut the wood. Even longer tendrils growing out of his trunk held the power saw and felt sensitively for its controls. “Will my fair wife, Apolason try and make it with a much younger and more attractive Elephantian?” he asked himself. While he was considering this the power saw lurched out of control, the plank split and a piece of wood flew up hitting one of his eyes. The tendrils in his leg and in his trunk contracted into his skin due to the pain and the saw crashed to the ground. With three of his other eyes Jambogoran could clearly see fair young Apolason with his lodger, Trickobullas and didn’t like what he saw at all. “You shouldn’t mock me you (Expletive deleted)!” Jambogoran exclaimed. He rubbed his sore eye and added, “The Great Father Elephant in the Sky doesn’t like insensitivity and neither does the Great Mother Elephant under the Earth.” “Sorry, we weren’t mocking you darling.” Apolason declared. “We were crying with sorrow, not with joy.” Trickobullas added. Intelligent Elephantians or even intelligent humans might have found that just a bit unconvincing but Jambogoran wasn’t the brightest carpenter on the planet. If he were intelligent would he have let an attractive young male lodger get near his wife at all? “What’s all this about then?” Jambogoran demanded. “You see I’ve been studying my astronomy diligently and I’ve discovered that Betelgeuse is about to go Supernova.” Trickobullas nodded his head very knowingly as he said this. Jambogoran trembled in an Elephantian way with terror because the people aliens of the Planet Horribowitchias all knew that Betelgeuse can go supernova at any time. Incidentally the astronomers of Earth know that as well. “Please tell me more!” Jambogoran begged. “I’m not sure if I’m allowed to tell you.” Trickobullas replied and looked very sad as he shook his Elephantian head. “The Great Father Elephant and the Great Mother Elephant may not want you to know.” Apolason wriggled the tendrils on her back seductively towards Trickobullas and raised her Elephantian head so her husband could not easily see this. “You must tell me.” Jambogoran insisted desperately, Apolason withdrew her seductive tendrils right into her skin like cats’ claws to prevent her husband seeing what she’d been doing. “I’ll have to consult my books first,” Trickobullas countered after waiting long enough to get Jambogoran really upset. He gave a few tendrils a seductive wriggle towards Apolason then retracted them so her husband didn't see it, finally Trickobullas lumbered off in his Elephantian way to check his books. “I’ll go and help find what’s going to happen to us my darling.” Apolason informed Jambogoran. “But won’t you stay and console me?” Jambogoran pleaded. “But darling you need to know.” Apolason put her trunk out and found Jambogoran’s reproductive organs we’d better not say what. After that Jambogoran felt decidedly better and Apolason lumbered off in a different direction from Trickobullas, she got back to Trickobullas later of course but Jambogoran didn’t see that. Apolason and Trickobullas discussed how to get together without Jambogoran knowing.

Much later Trickobullas and Apolason lumbered back and they wriggled the tendrils on their legs, which means the same thing as when humans are sniggering. “I’ve found out what we must do.” Trickobullas asserted, “The Great Father Elephant in the Sky has ordered you to build three wooden shelters for yourself, for fair Apolason and for me.” Trickobullas started. Jambogoran picked a rough piece of wood up in his trunk and scratched his head, he tried really hard to think. “Wouldn’t digging shelters be safer?” he asked pensively. Trickobullas and Apolason had no intention of waiting till shelters were dug before getting together. “The Great Mother Elephant under the Earth absolutely refuses to let you disturb the earth by digging in this matter.” Apolason stated categorically. “You absolutely must build three wooden shelters and trust the God and Goddess who are Elephants.” Trickobullas was equally categorical. “Can’t I build one big shelter for Apolason and myself?” Jambogoran pleaded earnestly. “No you can’t, there must be absolutely no carnal you know what going on between you and her during this great matter!” Again Trickobullas was categorical. “Can’t I be just a little bit carnal with my wife?” “No! During the great supernova event you can’t be carnal at all, the Great Father Elephant in the Sky says so.” Trickobullas pontificated. “No! During the great supernova event you can’t be carnal at all, the Great Mother Elephant under the Earth says so.” Apolason pontificated also.

So Jambogoran went off sadly to get wood for the shelters. Trickobullas and Apolason discussed adultery what they would do together when Jambogoran was hiding in his shelter.

Now the trees that grow on Horribowitchias are quite different from the trees of Earth, indeed their wood is hard and brittle and multicoloured like coral, that’s why they need power saws to cut it. Jambogoran got extremely beautiful wood, like the most exquisite corals to mark this very special event but that wasn’t good enough. Trickobullas was categorical that the main wood he needed for his own shelter must be bright yellow to represent the The Great Father Elephant in the Sky and Apolason was equally categorical that there must be purple splashes in it to honour the Great Mother Elephant under the Earth. So Jambogoran used beautiful wood to make shelters for Apolason and Trickobullas, he sprayed chemicals onto the wood to bring out the colour and to make the wood suppler and less brittle. Then sadly Jambogoran went away again to get glaring yellow wood and vivid purple wood for his own shelter. Neither Apolason nor Trickobullas let poor Jambogoran see that they were sniggering.

After many eventful days and nights the shelters were ready, Jambogoran provisioned them with food and drink and then all three went into their respective shelters. Jambogoran stayed inside his shelter quaking with terror while Apolason and Trickobullas crept quietly out of their shelters to make love we’d better not say what. At this point there was yet another complication, as you are probably aware when a very young wife is married to an aging husband there is frequently more than one young man or young alien who is sure that the lady will like him better than her husband. In this case the other young alien was called Abollasopiom. In any case Abollasopiom noticed that the lady’s husband wasn’t around and decided to try his luck.

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