Talk:The search for Kalid/1

Greetings Davichito,

This work seems to follow the same general form as the interview with the psychologist in that both start with dialogue between main characters about what situation they are in. This is a very good set-up (even though not one that I use) because it allows you to quickly and effectively develop the mystery around the main tenet of your work. Mixing it in with expository adds a bit of variety as well. You may want to take care not to have your expository become too dry, because when it is mixed with explanatory dialog, dry expository suddenly becomes an eye-sore.

That said, your work as sufficient description, though probably not enough imagery. Diction could also take a boost. Now might be a good time to expand your vocabulary (and make sure you spell those words correctly when you don't have spellcheck available). A thesaurus comes in handy. Grammar and spelling in this work are both on par.

Story seems incredibly cliched. My first thought when I saw the story title is "uh oh here comes another quest story"; and when I saw the first few lines of the story, it became "uh oh here comes another ancient order of magi / superstitious lore story". See what I mean? That doesn't mean you quit - far from it - I'm a clichephobic - but next time you start a project you might want to consider making it less apparently stereotypical. I don't know where your story is headed, but I hope you'll add a few twists here and there.

Cheers, 03:27, 7 April 2008 (UTC)